One of the most debilitating aspects of narcissistic abuse is the fact that narcissists mess with your mind and make you doubt your own sanity.
Victims of narcissistic abuse are constantly walking on eggshells but cannot quite put their finger on why.
The constant gaslighting and all the lies and manipulation are draining and the narcissist’s target ends up wondering whether they are actually the one who has a problem.
The constant emotional and psychological abuse brainwash the victim, triggering a debilitating cycle of negative self talk and learned helplessness that can outlive the relationship with the narcissist.
“Narcissists play a public game and a private game which makes it harder to understand. Expressing your concerns suddenly turns you into the ‘jealous one’ and they make you doubt yourself. He/she becomes cold and uncaring almost overnight, this is when the “mask falls” and you see the real person. They make excuses and if we don’t accept these excuses then you are the ‘crazy’ one.”
Tracy Malone
The narcissist’s goal is to keep you off balance. Whenever you are in public, with friends or family members, the mask is firmly in place. Their charm camouflages their true nature and everyone is convinced that he or she adores you. But the reality is very different.
Narcissists do not love. Their mission is to bend you to their will and keep you captive, acting as a constant source of narcissistic supply. Whenever you attempt to thwart them their reaction is vicious and their narcissistic rage terrifying. They will stop at nothing to bring you in line.
It is important for victims of narcissistic abuse to trust themselves and their instincts. It might not be possible to explain exactly why and how it is that narcissists mess with our mind, but it is happening nonetheless. If you find yourself questioning your sanity, you need to stop and think.
You are worth more than that. You deserve more than that. Don’t let the narcissist win.
Final thoughts
If you find yourself trapped in a relationship with a narcissist, know that it is not your fault. Narcissists are master manipulators and they will do whatever it takes to keep you under their thumb
The most important thing you can do is to trust yourself and your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t let the narcissist gaslight you into doubting your own sanity. You are not crazy. The narcissist is.
If you are in an abusive relationship, please reach out for help. There are many hotlines and resources available to assist you. Reach out to your friends, family or a therapist and ask for their help. You deserve to be safe and you deserve to be happy.
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