If you’re dealing with a narcissist, or are in any kind of relationship with one, you know that going no contact is often the best solution. But what if that’s not possible? What if you have to co-parent with them, or see them at work every day?
In this blog post, I will discuss a strategy for when no contact is impossible: going low contact.
This involves putting in place strong boundaries and keeping communication to a minimum. You can also use strategies such as grey rock to help keep yourself safe and protected.
If you’re ready to start going low contact, follow these steps below.
Step One: Establish Strong Boundaries
The first step in going low contact is establishing strong boundaries.
These boundaries should be based on what makes you feel safe and comfortable.
They might include things like not allowing the narcissist to criticize or judge you, setting firm limits on how much contact you have, and refusing to engage in heated arguments.
Remember, it’s important to stick to your boundaries no matter what the narcissist does or says.
Step Two: Keep Communication to a Minimum
The next step is to keep communication with the narcissist to a minimum.
This means not giving them any attention or fuel. Try to communicate only when necessary and avoid getting into long conversations with them.
If the narcissist starts to criticize or attack you, shut down the conversation as quickly as possible.
Step Three: Use Strategies such as Grey Rock
If you find that you can’t keep your interaction with the narcissist to a minimum, you can try using strategies such as grey rock.
This involves acting like a blank slate and refusing to give the narcissist any emotional reactions.
This can be difficult, but it’s important to remain calm and unemotional no matter what the narcissist does or says. Remember that your reactions are a source of narcissistic supply, so do not give the narcissist what he or she wants!
Final thoughts re going low contact with a narcissist
If you follow these steps, you’ll be on your way to establishing strong boundaries and regaining your peace of mind by reducing your contact with the narcissist to the bare minimum.
Remember to stay strong and don’t let the narcissist manipulate or control you. Stick to your guns and your Low Contact regime. Stay as far away from the narcissist’s drama as possible.
For Further Reading:
You might also want to check out the following posts about the different abuse tactics in the Narcissist’s toolbox:
- Abuse by Proxy
- Ambient Abuse
- Coercive Control
- Divide and Conquer
- Enmeshment
- Fauxpology
- Flying Monkeys
- Future Faking
- Gaslighting
- Love Bombing
- Narcissist Discard
- Narcissist Hoovering
- Narcissistic Triangulation
- Narcissistic Abuse
- Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome
- Narcissistic Family Roles
- Narcissistic FOG
- Narcissistic Grooming
- Narcissistic Projection
- Narcissistic Rage
- Narcissistic Smear Campaign
- Narcissistic Word Salad
- Parental Alienation
- 7 Types of Narcissistic Abuse with Practical Examples
- The 10 Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
- 13 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Abuse: How to Deal with It and Get Help
- Flying Monkeys in the World of Narcissism: What They Are and How to Deal With Them
- Gaslighting Defined – How Can You Tell If Your Partner Is Gaslighting You?
- Why Narcissists String Along their Exes and Never Cut Them Loose
And finally, this is my story. I was the scapegoat daughter of a narcissistic father.
Disclosure: Please note that some of the links in this post are affiliate links. When you use one of my affiliate links, the company compensates me. At no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a commission, which helps me run this blog and keep my in-depth content free of charge for all my readers.
Hi Carla, Narcissists are so notoriously creative in their methods, it’s always useful for victims of this kind of abuse to have other strategies in mind. Thanks for a helpful article! Joan
Hi Joan,
Narcissists are masters of manipulation – you are perfectly right!
thanks for visiting my blog, and for commenting!
Carla
I made the mistake of feeling badly for the way I was ignoring this certain person. There was a family get together and I just wanted to have a day where I could be free with everyone and not have to feel so guarded. Boy, did it not take long for this person to take advantage of the situation and pay me back for a year of indifference towards them. That was over a year ago and I’m still paying for that misplaced guilt. These narcissists have absolutely no humanity.
Don’t ever feel bad about being a good person Erica. It was kind of you to offer this person an olive branch – and the fact that they abused the situation instead of taking the opportunity to restore the relationship is on them not on you. However, now that you know how manipulative they are, I would suggest you steer clear of them in future. You don’t deserve, or need, this unnecessary aggravation in your life.
Sending you a hug.
Yes, it was definitely a hard lesson.
Sending you hugs back from South Carolina. <3