Hi!
Thank you for visiting my blog.
I grew up in a narcissistic family with a narcissistic father who chose me to be the family scapegoat and my brother to be the golden child. It has taken me many, many years to come to terms with what happened to me during my childhood and I would never have succeeded were it not for the kindness and support I received from my husband and my friends. They have proved to be true blessings in my life.
Nowadays, many years later, I have succeeded in breaking the cycle of trauma and abuse that has cursed my father’s side of the family for generations. My children are happy and loved. They have never experienced any of the destructive behaviours that tore apart my family of birth. That is my legacy and I am immensely proud and grateful that I have succeeded. It has taken many years and a lot of soul searching and heartache, but it was worth it.
There is hope.
“You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren’t alone.”
Jeanne McElvaney
I set up this website because I believe that it is important for survivors of narcissistic abuse to speak up, lighting a beacon to guide victims who have suffered at the hands of a narcissist to safety. Yes, it is possible to overcome the impact of narcissistic and other forms of emotional or psychological abuse. This type of abuse leaves no obvious signs on the body – no bruises or scars. However the damage inflicted on victims is very real and we struggle with issues such as negative self talk, low self esteem and other challenges for the rest of our lives.
Narcissistic abuse is soul destroying, but do not lose hope. Join me on this journey to healing and happiness. I can also be found on Twitter @CarlaCorelli with daily inspiration and encouragement. Together we will overcome our trauma.
Much love,
Carla Corelli
I am a 48 year old male, and suffer from a life long narcisstic abuse by my mother (my father passed away in my mid teens).
In my teenage years she was violent, verbally abusive, mentally abusive, financially abusive. Never hugged, couldnt express any emotion apart from the most toxic words, drank heavily. Since then i have kept her at arms length (moving cities to be away from her) and she moved hemispheres to live in another country for ten years, which was the best without the fear and anxiety it created historically. When she moved back (in advance of this), i had a daily panic attack (ptsd) knowing she was coming here. She has continuously triangulated all my family connections, taken over friend ships, degraded family connections, gossipped about others, and wheasled her way into my life (as i would always try an be accomodating) .
She is a perpetual liar, and once even faked throwing herself on the floor at a family wedding in my vacinity (to make people think i pushed her over). The most heart wrenching visual trick. The most toxic person i have come across. My life is living hell. Recently i separated from my 20 year relationship, there was definitely narcissistic tendencies there in my ex-wife but not as extreme. My mother has now taken my ex-wife side and used that situation against me … to create a void between my children and i … between my ex’s family and i …. continues to bad mouth me, particularly my children who are late teens now. Despite my horrendous treatment i became a loving Dad who hugged his kids and told them how much i loved them (in a genuine way) Contributed financially and was generous to them and put them first. Non of the things i got. Non of my existing family who i had a good relationship with now speak to me.
I am left thinking what is wrong with me, i have been to my girls school practises and sports games … always. And been a great provider to my family, taking time off work to attend, and taking them on camping holidays. I cannot stand my mother and the horrendous things she says about family members, which i dont participate in. To cap things off, i havent seen my lovely children for 2.5 years, and my ex has always diminished me as a parent, and has said in mediation my girls dont want to know me. How i havent lost the plot continues to evade me. I can withstand a few drinks and love catching up with friends without being a tea totaller or drunk alchoholic. Yet my ex continues to harass me via lawyers, and the IRS, every six months, even when I pay 100% child support to her, on time, and never miss a payment or create any antagonism. She only ever wants money and doesn’t want me to have a relationship with my children.
What a position to be in.
I really have been feeling like not being here of late, and wonder just how long I will last.
Hi, your story is heart-breaking. I am so sorry that you have had to experience so much trauma, and the fact that you grew up to be a loving father is a testament to your strength and resilience. However I am concerned about you because it is clear that you require support which I am unable to provide on this blog. I strongly recommend that you talk things over with someone who can, though, such as a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life.
There are numerous online services available where you can speak anonymously with trained individuals. Consider reaching out to platforms like BetterHelp (http://www.betterhelp.com) or Talkspace (http://www.talkspace.com). These services offer professional counseling from licensed therapists. If you’re in immediate distress, please contact a crisis line in your country. They have people ready to talk to you right now.
Please don’t go through this alone. There are people ready and willing to help.
Hi there! Use your Twitter advice quite a bit. Have narc mom. She’s 79 and I’m so heartbroken, but glad I know now. Also sober 4 1/2 yrs, and that’s why I started watching patterns that were riddles all my life!! I’m 56. Thanks!!
Hi Kim, I am so sorry that you too had a narcissistic parent – I know what a nightmare that is. Glad that my tweets and blog have helped!
Want you to know that although it might feel impossible at times, it IS possible to heal and to slowly undo the damage they did to us, so hang in there. Sending you a big hug and lots of love.
Thank you so much.
Hi Carla
I sent you the TWTR pix for the DeGroat book.
I have personal episodes, (too many); significant NPD chapters in extended family history… and (victim) encounters in the pastoral counseling environment.
Permit me to thank you AND encourage you in your mission to set victims free from deceit, pain, and ongoing dysfunction.
Valid email contact attached to this webpage comment.
Be safe.
S
Thank you Sam. I appreciate your feedback and I will definitely check out the book you recommended ☺️