If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist, you know that one of their favourite strategies is to deflect responsibility, blaming the victim for their bad behaviour. They are master manipulators and will do everything in their power to avoid being held accountable.
They will make you feel like you’re the one who’s doing something wrong, even when it’s clear that they’re the ones in the wrong. Blaming the victim is an incredibly insidious form of psychological manipulation because it not only absolves them of responsibility, but it also makes you doubt yourself and your own perceptions.
In this blog post, I’m going to explain why narcissists do this and how you can protect yourself when they resort to blaming the victim.
How Narcissists Play the Victim
Narcissists are master manipulators, and one of their favourite tricks is to play the victim. When they do something wrong, they will find a way to twist the story so that you are the one at fault. They might say that you made them angry, or that you said something to provoke them. They might even go so far as to claim that you were the one who was actually abusive, and that they were only reacting in self-defence.
This type of gaslighting can be incredibly confusing and frustrating. You know that you didn’t do anything wrong, but the narcissist makes such a convincing case that you start to doubt yourself. They might actually convince you that you are the one at fault. But it’s important to remember that this is not true. The narcissist is solely responsible for their own actions, no matter how much they try to blame you.
Why Do Narcissists Blame the Victim?
Narcissists blame their victims for two reasons. First, because they want to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. And second, because they want to control and manipulate their victims into thinking that they’re always the ones doing something wrong.
Narcissists are experts at gaslighting, which is a form of psychological manipulation that makes people doubt themselves and their own perceptions. Gaslighting is particularly effective against victims of narcissistic abuse because it takes advantage of the fact that these victims are already prone to self-doubt. When a narcissist tells you that you’re imagining things or that you’re overreacting, they are gaslighting you into doubting your own reality.
Playing the victim card makes it possible for narcissists to avoid taking responsibility for their own bad behaviour. In addition, it allows them to garner sympathy from others. If people believe that they are being mistreated, they are more likely to side with the narcissist against you. Finally, this tactic allows narcissists to keep control over the situation and maintain power in the relationship.
How to Respond When a Narcissist Tries to Blame You
If you find yourself in a situation where a narcissist is trying to blame you for their bad behaviour, there are a few things you can do in order to protect yourself.
First of all, it’s important to stay calm and rational. Don’t let yourself get pulled into an argument where you end up yelling and making accusations as well. This will only give the narcissist more ammunition to use against you later on.
Instead, calmly state your case and stick to the facts. It’s also helpful to have evidence backing up your side of the story. If possible, save texts, emails, or other documentation as proof. This will come in useful if the narcissist enlists his army of flying monkeys and sets in motion a smear campaign to destroy your reputation.
It’s also important not take everything the narcissist says at face value. Just because they say something doesn’t make it true.
Remember that narcissists are master manipulators. They will say whatever it takes in order to get what they want without regard for truth or accuracy. So don’t believe everything they tell you. Instead, take some time to think about what they’re saying and whether or not it actually makes sense.
How to Protect Yourself When a Narcissist Resorts to Blaming the Victim
The best way to protect yourself from narcissistic manipulation is to understand how narcissists operate and what their motivations are. Once you understand what they’re trying to do, it becomes much easier to see through their lies and manipulations. Here are some other tips for protecting yourself when a narcissist resorts to blaming the victim.
Keep a journal: Recording your experiences in a journal can help you keep track of what’s really going on in your relationship and provide evidence if you need to go to court or get a restraining order.
Build a support network: Find friends or family members who will believe you and support you. These people can provide much-needed emotional support during times of crisis.
Seek professional help: If you find yourself feeling depressed, anxious, or suicidal, seek professional help immediately. A therapist can help you deal with the aftermath of narcissistic abuse and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Learn about narcissistic personality disorder: The more you know about NPD, the easier it will be to spot red flags in relationships and protect yourself from becoming a victim of abuse.
Set boundaries: Narcissists will try to control every aspect of your life if you let them. It’s important to set boundaries with narcissists and stick to them. For example, if they start calling or texting you multiple times a day, tell them that you’ll only respond to one text per day.
Keep communication short and concise: The less information you give a narcissist, the less ammunition they have to use against you. So keep your communication with them short and sweet—just enough to get your point across without giving them any extra information that they could use against you later on.
Conclusion – Blaming the Victim is Just a Ploy
If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a narcissist’s blame game, then you know how confusing and frustrating it can be. But it’s important to remember that this is not your fault. Narcissists are solely responsible for their own actions, no matter how much they try to deflect responsibility onto others.
By understanding their playbook and the way narcissists deflect responsibility for their actions by blaming the victim, you will be able to remain calm and rational in the face of their manipulation tactics, and you can protect yourself from being victimized by a narcissistic abuser.
Posts About Narcissistic Abuse Tactics
Abuse by Proxy – How to Identify and Deal with this form of Psychological Abuse
How to Detect and Escape Ambient Abuse – A Survivor’s Guide
Blaming the Victim – The Narcissist’s Insidious Strategy to Avoid Responsibility
Divide and Conquer – A Strategic Way of Isolating Victims
Enmeshment in Narcissistic Families – Trapped in the Narcissist’s Toxic Web
The Fauxpology – a devious weapon of the Narcissist
Flying Monkeys – the narcissist’s army of goons
Future Faking – Narcissists make hollow promises about the future
Narcissistic Grooming – How Narcissists Brainwash and Condition their Victims
What is Narcissist Discard and what are the signs?
Narcissist Hoovering – How to Deal With It
Narcissist Triangulation – What it is, why Narcissists do it, and how to deal with it
Narcissistic Abuse – How Narcissists Manipulate and Hurt their Victims
Narcissist Gaslighting with Examples – How to Identify this type of Narcissistic Abuse and what to Do About It
What is Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome and How Can I Get Better?
Narcissistic FOG – How Narcissists use Fear, Obligation and Guilt as Weapons
7 Types of Narcissistic Abuse with Practical Examples
What is Narcissistic Projection? The Narcissist’s toxic blame-shifting tactic
What you need to know about Narcissistic Rage
Love Bombing – The Narcissist’s Trick to Keep You Hooked
Narcissistic Smear Campaign – How To Spot It and What To Do About It
Narcissistic Word Salad – One of the Tools in the Narcissist’s Toolbox
The Definition of Triangulation in Narcissistic Abuse – A Closer Look