Narcissists are master manipulators. They use a variety of tactics to control their victims and distort reality. If they sense that their victim is wiggling away and about to regain their freedom, they will pull out all the stops to keep them under their thumb. Here are some of the most manipulative statements a narcissist will use to pressure you into staying.
If you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, you will likely be able to relate to some of these statements!
Table of Contents
- Manipulative things a narcissist will say to isolate and coerce you to stay in the relationship
- Future Faking – another favourite manipulative tactic of the narcissist
- The victim card – because how could you break the poor narcissist’s heart?
- The suicide threat – the ultimate manipulative move by a narcissist to keep you under their control
- Final thoughts on the manipulative things a narcissist will say
- For Further Reading
Manipulative things a narcissist will say to isolate and coerce you to stay in the relationship
“Nobody will love you the way that I do.”
This statement needs some unpacking. At face value it appears to be a declaration of love, but scratch beneath the surface and suddenly you will realise that all is not as it might initially seem.
The narcissist’s aim when they say this is to make you feel isolated and dependent on them. They are effectively telling you that nobody else will love you, and that if you leave the relationship, you will be alone.
The truth, of course, is the opposite. It is the narcissist who is incapable of loving you the way you deserve to be loved, and it is only by leaving them that you will finally be free to find the genuine love you deserve.
“You would be nothing without me.”
Another classic manipulative statement that narcissists trot out time and again like a broken record. They want you to believe that you are incapable of existing without them.
In the narcissist’s twisted version of reality, everyone and everything, including you, revolve around them. And just like life on earth would wither and die without the sun, so they believe that you will falter and fail if you no longer have them to light up your life.
Of course, this is not true! If anything, it is the narcissist who is nothing without you. They rely on you for their supply of narcissistic fuel, and without you they would be forced to face the ugly truth about themselves.
Future Faking – another favourite manipulative tactic of the narcissist
“I will change.”
“I will go to therapy.”
Narcissists are often very convincing when they promise to change their ways or seek help for their issues. They know how to say all the right things, and they will often go above and beyond to make it appear as though they are committed to making changes.
However, in reality, these promises are nothing more than empty words designed to placate you and keep you in the relationship. The narcissist has no intention of changing, and even if they did, it would only be for their own benefit and not for yours.
What they are doing is mirroring – reflecting back at you what they know that you want to hear. Don’t fall for it!
“Let’s get married.”
“OK, let’s have a baby.”
Narcissists are often very quick to make grandiose promises about the future. They will talk about getting married, having children, buying a house, and all sorts of other things that they have no intention of actually doing.
Narcissists do this to keep you hooked into the relationship. They know that these are things you want, and by dangling them in front of you, they are ensuring that you will stay with them even though they are not giving you what you really need.
In addition it is important that you stop and think – is this really the right person to be your life partner? Is this the perfect parent for your child? Narcissists are not capable of the genuine love and commitment that these roles require.
The victim card – because how could you break the poor narcissist’s heart?
“How can you do this while I am going through such a hard time?”
“How can you say that after everything I have done for you?”
Narcissists love to play the victim. They are experts at making you feel guilty, even when it is them who have done something wrong. They will play on your empathy and compassion, and make you feel as though you are the one who is being heartless and cruel.
Do not fall for it! The narcissist is not the victim – you are. They are the ones who have manipulated and controlled you, and they are the ones who have caused you pain.
The suicide threat – the ultimate manipulative move by a narcissist to keep you under their control
“You are my everything. Without you, life would not be worth living.”
The narcissist knows that you are a kind and empathetic person, and they will use this against you to keep you in the relationship. They will threaten to hurt or kill themselves if you leave them, and they might even stage an attempt in order to terrify you.
This is a final manipulative tactic that narcissists use to keep you under their control, and it is one that you should never fall for. What they are doing is trying to control you with fear, and you need to be strong enough to see through their lies.
Final thoughts on the manipulative things a narcissist will say
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, then it is time to get out. They will never change, and they will only continue to hurt you. You deserve better than that.
There are plenty of other people out there who would love to be in a relationship with you – people who will love and respect you, and who will not try to control or manipulate you. Find those people, and build a life with them instead. You deserve to be happy and healthy, and you deserve to be loved unconditionally. Don’t settle for anything less.
For Further Reading
The following are the most potent abusive tactics in the narcissist’s toolbox –
Abuse by Proxy – How to Identify and Deal with this form of Psychological Abuse
How to Detect and Escape Ambient Abuse: A Survivor’s Guide
Divide and Conquer – a strategic way of isolating victims
The Fauxpology – a devious weapon of the Narcissist
Future Faking – Narcissists make hollow promises about the future
Narcissistic Grooming – How Narcissists Brainwash and Condition their Victims
Love Bombing – The Narcissist’s Trick to Keep You Hooked
What is Narcissist Discard and what are the signs?
Narcissist Hoovering – How to Deal With It
Narcissist Triangulation – What it is, why Narcissists do it, and how to deal with it
What you need to know about Narcissistic Rage
Narcissistic Smear Campaign – how to spot it and what to do about it
Narcissistic Word Salad – one of the tools in the narcissist’s toolbox
7 Types of Narcissistic Abuse with Practical Examples
Narcissistic Abuse – How Narcissists Manipulate and Hurt their Victims
13 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Abuse: How to Deal with It and Get Help
Narcissistic Abuse Examples – How to Recognize the Toxic Signs of Narcissism
The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: How to Recognize It and Break Free
Narcissist Manipulation Tactics: How to Safeguard Yourself from Emotional Abuse
Jokes or Abuse? When Jokes Cross the Line
Narcissistic Abuse – The Signs and Why it’s so Damaging
What Is Narcissist Abuse Syndrome and How Do You Recover from It?
Manipulative things a narcissist will say to pressure you to stay
Blaming the Victim – The Narcissist’s Insidious Strategy to Avoid Responsibility
Toxic Things a Narcissist Will Say To Destroy Your Confidence
The Impact of Growing Up With A Narcissistic Mother on Her Daughter
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