Narcissistic mothers are notoriously manipulative and will often say whatever it takes to get what they want. With this in mind, it is important for children of narcissistic mothers to understand the tactics their mother might be using, so as not to be manipulated or taken advantage of. This article will tackle the most common manipulative things that narcissistic mothers say and give you tips on how to handle these difficult conversations with them.
10 Things That Narcissistic Mothers Say to Guilt Trip Their Children
Narcissistic mothers often use guilt trips to manipulate their children into giving them what they want. This may include money, favors, attention, or simply obedience to their commands.
“I’m your mother, so you owe me respect.”
“It would kill me if you did that.”
“You have no idea how hard I worked for you.”
“After all I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?”
“No one else will ever love or understand you like I do.”
“You owe it to me to … “
“If you really loved and respected me, then…”
“If it wasn’t for me, then…you would never have…”
“You’ll never get anyone else to accept/love/tolerate you the way I do..”
“Just think about what would happen if …..”
How To React To Guilt Tripping Tactics By your Narcissistic Mother
Acknowledge your feelings. It’s normal to experience emotions such as anger and resentment when confronted with guilt tripping tactics from a narcissistic mother, so it’s important to take the time to acknowledge your feelings and recognize that you are entitled to them.
Don’t take the blame. It can be easy to get sucked into believing that you are at fault for how a narcissistic mother is making you feel, but try your best to stay in control of the narrative and remind yourself that their behavior is their responsibility, not yours.
Set boundaries. Learning how to set healthy boundaries is an important part of establishing respectful relationships in any situation, particularly those involving a narcissistic mother. Be clear and direct about what behaviors will or will not be tolerated and stick to them.
Maintain self-respect and self-love. Above all else, ensure that no matter what happens during conversations with a narcissistic mother, you remain confident in yourself and remember your worth regardless of what they may say or do.
Seek out support networks when necessary. If things become too overwhelming it can be beneficial to seek out additional support from friends, family members, counseling professionals or other mental health services as needed for extra guidance on how best to handle the situation in a healthy way.
10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Say To Gaslight Their Children
Narcissistic mothers often resort to gaslighting their children as a way to maintain control in the relationship and make them feel less secure in their own thoughts and feelings.
By constantly changing the narrative and denying that they said or did certain things, they can easily manipulate how their children think and act ,which allows them to keep power in the relationship.
“I never said that.”
“It was just a joke. You’re too sensitive.”
“I’m only trying to help you, why don’t you appreciate it?”
“Nobody else has this problem with me, so clearly it must be all in your head.”
“You need to do what I say because I know what’s best for you.”
“If you can’t handle the truth then don’t ask me questions.”
“So-and-so always obeys me—why can’t you be like them?”
“You’re too emotional—you need to think more logically about this situation.”
“Everything would be better if you would just do as I say and stop questioning my decisions.”
How to React To Gaslighting Tactics From Narcissistic Mothers
Acknowledge your feelings and experience them
Acknowledging your feelings and taking the time to experience them is an important part of dealing with gaslighting tactics from a narcissistic mother.
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, frustrated or hurt by their behavior, and it’s important to make sure you take the time to process those emotions.
Doing this will help you gain clarity and make sure that you don’t get swept away in any heated arguments.
Don’t engage in debates
When faced with gaslighting tactics from a narcissistic mother, it’s important to remain composed and stay away from any heated debates or conversations.
Instead of engaging in an argument, take the time to calmly state your feelings while also attempting to stay neutral in terms of expressing your viewpoint.
This will help you maintain a calm atmosphere and prevent any further escalating of the situation.
Setting boundaries is an essential part of dealing with gaslighting tactics from a narcissistic mother.
It’s important to be assertive and not afraid to speak up when necessary.
Take the time to draw a line on what is acceptable and not acceptable for you, and make sure that you stand your ground when it comes to these boundaries.
Doing this will help keep relationships or conversations balanced and prevent any further escalations of the situation.
Hold onto your truth
It’s important to always hold onto your truth when dealing with gaslighting tactics from a narcissistic mother.
Regardless of external pressures, it is up to you to decide what is right and true for you. Do not allow anyone else to dictate your self-worth.
Stay firm in your beliefs and don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself so that you can live an authentic life that resonates with who you truly are.
10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Say To Love Bomb Their Children
Narcissistic mothers often love bomb their children if they feel that they are trying to develop their independence.
By showering them with attention, compliments, and claims of never-ending love, they reel them back in, at the expense of their child’s wellbeing.
“I love you so much -you’re the light of my life.”
“You can tell me anything and I’ll always understand”
“We have such a special bond, don’t we?”
“You’re my favorite person in the world.”
“Nobody understands me like you do”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you”
“You make everything better just by existing”
“No matter what, I’m here for you”
“I’m so proud of everything that you have achieved!”
“I’d do anything for you – just let me know!”
How to React To Love Bombing Tactics From Narcissistic Mothers
Take breaks and practice self-care. Taking breaks and practicing self-care is essential when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic mother.
Being away from your mother will also allow you to spend time with other supportive individuals in your life who can provide emotional support during difficult times.
Remember that you are entitled to your independence. Always remember that you have the right to autonomy and independence in your life.
You are entitled to your own thoughts, feelings, and decisions – no matter what your mother may say or do.
Building healthier relationships with people outside of your mother who can provide emotional support during difficult times can also help you grow and gain self-confidence in order to stay independent from any toxic influences within the family unit.
10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Say to Play Off Her Children Against Each Other
A narcissistic mother will often try to pit her children against each other, in an effort to divide and conquer.
By sowing division between siblings she creates an environment where it’s more difficult for any one of them to speak up against her.
Ultimately, she does this to establish complete dominance over all members involved within the family dynamic, allowing her to manipulate situations in order to get what she wants without coming off as overtly controlling.
“Your siblings don’t understand you like I do.”
“You should talk to your [brother/sister] about this, not me.”
“Your [brother/sister] never listens to me like you do.”
“You don’t understand each other the way I do.”
“Why can’t you just get along like your sibling does?”
“Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?”
“Your [brother/sister] has no idea what they’re talking about – why don’t you tell them how it really is?”
“[Sibling’s name] always gets away with everything!”
“You should listen more carefully! Your sibling understands these things better than you do!”
“I rely on you more than [insert name]’s!”
How to Respond When Your Narcissistic Mothers uses Triangulation Tactics
Stick together as family members. Supporting each other instead of engaging head-on separately with narcissists will often yield better results.
Instead of allowing your mother to control the narrative, and to act as a go-between between you and your siblings, talk to them directly.
If there are any issues or misunderstandings, hash them out directly and do not let your narcissistic mother drive a wedge between you.
Don’t get drawn into the comparison game. Comparing can often bring about feelings of insecurity or inadequacy, especially if these comparisons are made in an emotionally charged environment or ones where the narcissist is actively trying to make somebody feel inferior with their words.
It’s important instead to focus on establishing boundaries and standing firm in the face of comparison – recognizing that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses is key here as this allows individuals to remain secure within their own self-image without allowing another person’s opinion dictate how they should feel.
10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Say to Hurt Their Children
Narcissistic mothers are simply too selfish and self-centred to give their children the unconditional love that they deserve.
If they feel that their control and dominance is at risk they will lash out, saying the most hurtful of things.
“I’m disappointed in you.”
“You’re so ungrateful.”
“Why can’t you be more successful?”
“You’re so selfish.”
“If I had the same opportunities as you, I would have done better than this.”
“Nobody else will ever want you.”
“My life would have been better without you.”
“It’s all your fault.”
“You’ll never amount to anything.”
“You’re too weak.”
How To Heal from the Trauma Caused By Your Narcissistic Mother
Healing from the pain and trauma caused by a narcissistic mother will take time and effort. It is important to recognize that you are not responsible for your parent’s behavior, and to acknowledge and process the emotions associated with it.
Setting healthy boundaries with your parent, practicing self-care activities, and seeking support from friends, family members, or a therapist can all help with healing from the damage caused by your selfish and self-centred mother, enabling you to move on and live joyfully, unencumbered by her drama.
Final Thoughts – The Worst Thing a Narcissistic Mother Can Say
You might have noticed that so far there were only 50 quotes. This is because I left what I consider to be the most hurtful thing that my mother ever said to me for last.
“I wish you were never born.”
The pain of hearing those words from your mother is indescribable.
It has taken me many years to understand that those words were a reflection of my mother’s own damaged psyche, and not a reflection of who I am and what I have become.
With time and effort, I have slowly been able to heal from the pain and trauma caused by those words, and embrace my true self – and so can you.
Frequently Asked Questions About The Things Narcissistic Mothers Say
Narcissistic mothers often use manipulative and demeaning language to control and belittle their children. They may frequently say things like “You’re never good enough,” “You’re so selfish,” “You owe me,” or “I sacrificed everything for you.”
Narcissistic mothers’ words can have a profound impact on their children’s self-esteem, emotional well-being, and overall mental health. Children may develop feelings of guilt, shame, low self-worth, anxiety, and depression due to the constant criticism and manipulation.
Coping with the hurtful words of a narcissistic mother can be challenging, but it is important to prioritize your own well-being. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or therapists who can provide validation and guidance. Set boundaries to protect yourself and practice self-care activities that promote healing and self-love.