Love Bombing – The Narcissist’s Trick to Get You Hooked

Love bombing is a term used to describe the overload of positive reinforcement given by someone during the beginning stages of a relationship.

It usually involves showing excessive admiration and attention, often in an effort to gain control or manipulate someone into a certain type of relationship.

Love bombing may involve the use of compliments, lavish gifts, constant communication, and flattery.

While it may appear to be thoughtful or generous initially, it can become overwhelming and even unhealthy if left unchecked.

Narcissists use love bombing as a manipulative tactic to lure their victims into a relationship and keep them hooked. It involves showering the target with affection and attention in order to control them, often presenting themselves as the perfect partner.

hooked by a love bomber

Example of Love Bombing Behaviours

Narcissists use love bombing as a way to gain control and power over their victims.

This manipulative tactic is used to create an intense bond between two people and make it difficult for one person to break away from the other.

By showering someone with compliments, gifts, and flattery, narcissists are able to make it hard for their victims to say no or leave the relationship.

The following are typical love bombing behaviours –

Constant Communication: This involves sending a constant stream of texts, emails, or phone calls throughout the day. It can also mean dedicating long hours to talking on the phone or doing video chats.

Compliments: Receiving an abundance of compliments may seem nice at first, but it’s possible to get too much of a good thing.

Lavish Gifts: Love bombers shower their victim with lavish gifts such as expensive jewellery, luxurious vacations, and high-priced meals in order to impress their target and create a sense of obligation.

Flattery: This is when someone uses exaggerated praise to try to make the other person feel special, as a ploy to get close to them and build trust quickly.

Jealousy: Love bombers have a tendency to display jealous behaviour in order to prove the depth of their love, flattering the target by insisting that they are the centre of their world.

How to protect yourself from being manipulated through love bombing

There are several signs that can indicate if you are being love bombed by a narcissist.

The most obvious sign is an excessive amount of compliments and attention.

If your partner is constantly telling you how amazing, smart, and beautiful you are, then they may be using love bombing tactics.

Another sign is if your partner is always trying to make all of your decisions for you.

This can be a sign that they are trying to control you and gain power over you.

If your partner seems to be too good to be true, then there may be something fishy going on.

Be suspicious if they are showering you with gifts, compliments, and excessive attention.

Set boundaries: It is important to set boundaries with a narcissist and make sure they are aware of what you are not comfortable with in the relationship.

Establish yourself as an individual: If a narcissist is trying to control you by love bombing, it is important to stand firm and assert your independence. Show them that they cannot control or manipulate you.

Recognize warning signs: Pay attention to the way they communicate and treat you, so that you can recognize any signs of manipulation or control early on.

Don’t engage in power struggles: Avoid any kind of power struggle with a narcissist, as this will only further fuel their desire for control over you.

Get out if necessary: If the narcissist does not stop acting in a manipulative manner, don’t hesitate to get out of the relationship as quickly and safely as you can.

love bombing

How to deal with love bombing

If you find yourself the target of a narcissist’s love-bombing tactics, it is important to detach yourself from their influence as soon as possible.

Acknowledge that their behaviour is a manipulation tactic, and don’t be quick to trust them.

It is also important to set boundaries with them, so that they are aware of what you will and won’t tolerate in the relationship.

Finally, try to maintain distance from the narcissist while still being polite – this can be hard but it is necessary to protect your emotional wellbeing.

Here are some tips for dealing with this specific form of narcissistic abuse:

Don’t fall for the charm offensive. Remember that the narcissist is maliciously trying to manipulate your trust.

Get some distance from the abuser. This will help you to see the situation more objectively.

Talk to someone about what you are going through. It can be helpful to talk to someone who understands narcissistic abuse.

Document everything that is happening in the relationship. This can help you to have evidence if you decide to leave the relationship.

Seek professional help. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the situation, talking to a therapist can be very helpful.


Narcissists use love bombing as a manipulative tactic to ensnare their victims. It is important to recognize this behaviour and take steps to protect yourself from it.

Set firm boundaries with the narcissist, remain aware of their motives, and remember that it is okay to walk away if necessary.

Nothing should be more important than your emotional wellbeing, so protect yourself from love bombing by being mindful of potential danger signals.

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2 thoughts on “Love Bombing – The Narcissist’s Trick to Get You Hooked”

  1. Thank you for devoting a blog to this topic. I KNOW he used all of the tactics that makeup the very definition of “love bombing”, however, the 1 thing I’m struggling to really reconcile over is the narcissist portion you write abt how a man who sweeps you so swiftly away by love bombing, has a narcissist personality…the way he’s treated me, ever since finally suceeding in winning over my naturally highly untrusting/suspicious nature towards any extremely gifted at charming man, 2 mos I spent doing everything I could to run him off, turn him off &/or open gaping holes for him to easily walk away/take easy outs, has at times seemed to vacillate all across the emotional spectrum from being so kind & patient with my extremely hyper ADHD self (on 3 meds but am still always running on high), to where, since July 2021 thru present treating me highly punitively, ignoring all entirely, never ever responding to questions I may ask per text, to me, since 7/21, indeed assuming these toxic levels of narcisissm mixed with what feels like “I just don’t give a f—” attitudes in almost all things related to ME

    Last week he projected all of the spiteful venom & hatred I KNOW he WISHES he had the courage to standup to his very unstable borderline personality, bipolar disorder & narcissistic personality disorder’d hateful and male spousal abusing (physically) shaky wife. And that hurt. The words. I forgave inside my heart already (bc he sure as hell doesn’t give 1 damn whether I do or don’t, that is crystal clear to me now), but I will NEVER ever forget the words he wrote to me as we had a huge text argument all afternoon. I reread his words abt once a week so that when I’ve begun forgetting what he’d told me, I’m refreshed again in knowing he would actually treat me so disrespectfully as well as say such complete bald-faced accusatory lies & dishonorable words all to better, further dig the words’ daggers further into my heart & my backside…

    It’s just all so saddening but I simply mustn’t EVER forget those words he threw out at me, for fear it’d lead to my (possibly, since right now he’s determined there will never be an “us”..EVER.) crumbling my boundaries and falling back into those old familiar patterns?.

    Thanks again for blogging on this topic!

    – Jo

    • Dear Jo, I am so very, very sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. You deserve so much more than this. You deserve love and respect and peace. You are right to strengthen your resolve and to take a stand never to get back with him. Well done for prioritising yourself – hang in there and focus on your recovery. in the meantime, you are welcome to vent on my blog – we are all here to support each other 🙂


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