Narcissist Hoovering: How to Deal With It

The narcissist has just pulled a hoover manoeuvre and you’re not sure how to deal with it. What is hoovering and why does the narcissist do it?

This blog post will explain what Narcissist Hoovering is, give some examples and what you can do to protect yourself.

What is Hoovering?

Hoovering is a term used to describe the manipulative behaviour of a narcissist who tries to suck you back into a relationship with them after you get away from them or they have discarded you. The narcissist may reach out to you sporadically or they may hoover you constantly, but either way, their goal is to regain control over you.

The narcissist may make promises to change their behaviour, but they never do. In fact, the narcissist will probably go back to their old ways as soon as they have you wrapped around their little finger again.

So how can you deal with Narcissist Hoovering?

A narcissist who is trying to hoover you back into their orbit could send you flowers or a gift, or even try to contact your friends and family members in an effort to get information about you. Be prepared for anything the narcissist might do in order to reel you back in, and remember that it’s important to protect yourself from their manipulation.

There are a few things you can do to protect yourself from the narcissist’s manipulative behaviour:

  • Don’t respond to their emails, texts or calls. If you do, you’re only giving them what they want – control over you.
  • Block the narcissist on social media and delete their number from your phone.
  • Don’t meet up with them, even if they promise to behave.
  • Talk to someone who can help you deal with the situation, such as a therapist or support group.

The best way to deal with hoovering is to cut all contact with the narcissist. This may be difficult, but it’s the only way to protect yourself from their manipulative behaviour and psychological abuse.

If you’re currently experiencing hoovering from a narcissist, you need to steel yourself not to respond. Remember that the person who is currently acting like you are the centre of their universe is exactly the same person who treated you so badly in the past. Narcissists never change. Stay strong.

Disclosure: Please note that some of the links in this post are affiliate links. When you use one of my affiliate links, the company compensates me. At no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a commission, which helps me run this blog and keep my in-depth content free of charge for all my readers.

2 thoughts on “Narcissist Hoovering: How to Deal With It”

  1. Yikes. This started happening to me when I became “best friends” with a girl in 4th grade. I would ignore her until she came back to me, then I would act like it never happened. It kept happening with other people throughout my life. It certainly wouldn’t have happened again if I’d have had a mindset and a vocabulary to understand it. We really need to rethink fundamental education.


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