Going through a divorce is never easy, but if you are divorcing a narcissist, it becomes even more difficult. Not only do you have to handle all of the legal aspects of the process, but you must also contend with the emotional turmoil that inevitably comes with dealing with a narcissist.
Narcissists will go to extreme lengths to get what they want and make sure that they come out on top in any given situation. They will resort to manipulation and gaslighting tactics, leaving the other partner feeling frustrated, hurt, and confused. It can be overwhelming and exhausting.
If you are divorcing a narcissist, there are some strategies you can use to help protect yourself and navigate the process in a healthy way.
Understand Your Rights
A crucial first step when divorcing a narcissist is understanding your rights.
Consult an experienced family law attorney who can give you advice on your legal rights and options. Knowing your rights will help you feel empowered and protected as you go through the process.
When divorcing a narcissist, having evidence of their behaviour could prove useful.
Collecting evidence of abuse or financial misconduct may be helpful if there is an ongoing legal battle between you and your ex-partner.
Hard evidence such as emails, text messages, photos, or videos can be invaluable when it comes to protecting yourself against manipulation or false allegations made by the other party.
Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
One of the most important things you can do during your divorce is to set boundaries and stick to them. This could mean no contact unless absolutely necessary, and if contact needs to occur then it should be done via email or text only.
You need to understand that no matter how much you may still care about your soon to be ex-spouse, it’s important to keep your distance in order to protect yourself from their manipulative tactics. This will reduce their opportunities to cross any lines that could potentially harm or manipulate you.
Furthermore, avoiding arguments will help reduce tension between you both and make sure that any decisions made regarding the divorce process remain fair for everyone involved.
Lean on Your Support Network
It’s also important to find supportive people who can provide emotional support throughout the process; this could include friends, family members, counsellors/therapists, or even online support groups for people going through similar situations as yours.
Knowing that someone has your back during this difficult time can make all the difference in helping you stay strong and resilient throughout the entire ordeal.
Prepare for Manipulation and Mind Games
If your soon-to-be ex is a narcissist, they will try to manipulate or bully you into getting what they want during the divorce process.
They may also resort to mind games in order to get their way. It is important to remember that you are not responsible for their behaviour and shenanigans, and that you should not bend to their will or let them get away with it.
If necessary, enlist legal help or consult with a therapist for support during this difficult time.
Expect Unpredictable Behaviour
Narcissists are notoriously unpredictable and inconsistent in their behaviour as well as their communication style. One minute they can be overly demanding and unreasonable, and the next, they may ooze charm and helpfulness.
This inconsistency can be draining for anybody going through a divorce, so it’s important to take extra care of yourself emotionally and physically during this time.
Take Good Care of Yourself
Self-care is essential when going through a divorce with a narcissist. The divorce process is inevitably exhausting. Self-care can help to reduce the stress by providing a safe space for reflection and healing.
By taking time for oneself, it is possible to restore a sense of balance and calm during this difficult time in life.
Furthermore, self-care can also help to rebuild self-esteem, as well as provide strategies for managing difficult emotions such as guilt, anger, grief and fear.
Practicing self-care when divorcing a narcissist is important for both mental and physical wellbeing. It provides the opportunity to heal from the trauma of divorce while protecting yourself from further harm.
Make sure that you are getting enough rest and nutrition, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and surrounding yourself with people who are supportive of your situation.
Here are some ideas for self-care –
- Create a daily self-care routine to follow at least once a week.
- Connect with friends, family, and professionals for emotional support.
- Prioritize healthy habits such as exercise, nutrition, sleep and relaxation.
- Spend time in nature or engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment.
- Take breaks from the news and social media to reduce stress levels.
- Practice mindfulness and meditation techniques to cope with difficult emotions.
- Journal or create art as an outlet for your thoughts and feelings about the divorce process.
Be Prepared For Anything
Divorcing a narcissist means that you have to be prepared for anything and everything, from false accusations and malicious lies all the way down to outright threats and intimidation.
This is why it is so important to have legal representation on your side so that you know your rights throughout the entire process, as well as have an advocate who will be able to speak up for you if necessary.
Stay Firmly Grounded in Reality
During times of stress or conflict with a narcissist, it is easy to get lost in their distorted reality, where nothing is ever their fault and things always seem worse than they actually are.
It’s important not to buy into those stories or allow yourself to be manipulated by them. Stay firmly grounded in reality by talking with trusted friends or family members about what is really going on and seeking professional help if needed.
Know When To Seek Professional Help
Divorcing a narcissist is emotionally draining and overwhelming. It’s important that you seek professional help if needed so that you can remain level-headed throughout the entire process.
Talking through your feelings with a therapist or counsellor can help you find clarity and peace of mind during such an emotional time.
Final Thoughts on Divorcing a Narcissist
Divorcing a narcissist can be an incredibly difficult experience. However, it is possible to navigate this situation without letting yourself become overwhelmed by their manipulative tactics.
By understanding your rights, gathering evidence of their behaviour, setting clear boundaries between yourself and your ex-partner, and seeking out support from trusted sources, you will be better prepared for whatever challenges may come up during this difficult time in your life.
It’s not easy but if you follow these tips when divorcing a narcissist, you’ll give yourself the best chance at making it through this difficult process without having too much damage done along the way. Remember that while things may seem bleak now, there is hope on the horizon!
Posts About Divorcing a Narcissist
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The Aftermath of Loving a Narcissist – How to Heal and Move On
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When It’s Time to Say Goodbye – How to Handle Divorce with a Narcissist
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