Narcissistic mothers are self-absorbed, controlling, and manipulative. They often try to control their children using guilt or manipulation. It is also common for them to be physically or emotionally abusive. This can lead to a lifetime of emotional damage for the child. Let’s take a look at some of the ways a narcissistic mother can behave.
The Tell-tale Signs of a Narcissistic Mother
She’s never satisfied. No matter what you do, it’s never good enough for a narcissistic mother. She’s always finding fault and pointing out your flaws.
This can make you feel like you’re never good enough and that nothing you do is ever right.
She’s always the centre of attention. A narcissistic mother loves being the centre of attention and she’ll do whatever she can to make sure all eyes are on her.
She may hog conversations, interrupt others, or talk about herself incessantly.
She’s excessively critical. A narcissistic mother is never happy with anything you do. She’s quick to find fault and criticize your every move.
This can leave you feeling inadequate and unsure of yourself.
She’s manipulative. A narcissistic mother knows how to push your buttons and she’ll use your weaknesses against you to get what she wants.
She’s jealous and envious. A narcissistic mother is jealous of anyone who has something she doesn’t have or who threatens her position in the family hierarchy.
She may try to undermine your relationships or sabotage your successes so that she can feel better about herself.
How Does a Narcissistic Mother Behave?
Narcissistic mothers are very controlling.
They want to dictate every aspect of their child’s life, from what they wear to who they spend time with.
This is done in an attempt to control how others see their child and to make sure that their child always reflects well on them.
This type of behavior can lead to serious feelings of anxiety and inadequacy in the child.
They are also extremely manipulative, using guilt or manipulation in order to get their way.
For example, they may guilt their child into doing something they don’t want to do by saying things like, “I sacrificed so much for you and this is the thanks I get?”
This type of behavior is incredibly harmful because it teaches the child that love is conditional and based on performance.
How does a narcissistic mother behave? – Your mother is never happy for your successes
No matter how big or small your accomplishment may be, your narcissistic mother will always find a way to bring you down.
She may do this by belittling your achievement or by making snide comments about how she could have done it better herself.
If you’re used to hearing your mother say things like “That’s not good enough” or “You could have done better,” it’s a sign that she’s suffering from narcissism.
How does a narcissistic mother behave? – Your mother will do whatever it takes to be the center of attention
A narcissistic mother will often seek to be the center of attention, whether it’s in social situations or within the family unit.
She may do this by monopolizing conversations, fishing for compliments, or constantly needing reassurance that she’s still loved and appreciated.
If you’ve ever felt like you can’t get a word in edgewise around your mother, it may be because she’s suffering from narcissism.
How does a narcissistic mother behave? – Your mother uses guilt as a weapon
Narcissistic mothers will often use guilt as a way to control their children.
For example, she may make comments about how she sacrificed her own dreams in order to raise you, or how she would do anything for you if only you would show her the same love and appreciation.
If your relationship with your mother feels more like emotional blackmail than healthy give-and-take, it’s possible that she’s suffering from narcissism.
How does a narcissistic mother behave? – Your mother is excessively critical of you
A narcissistic mother will often find fault with everything you do in an attempt to keep you feeling inferior and powerless.
No matter how hard you try, nothing is ever good enough for her. If you’re used to hearing comments like “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re not doing that right,” it may be because your mother is suffering from narcissism.
How does a narcissistic mother behave? – Your mother is never there for you when you need her
A narcissistic mother will often put her own needs above those of her children.
So even when you’re going through a tough time and need her support, she’ll likely be unavailable—either emotionally or physically—to offer any help or comfort.
If it feels like your mother is never there for you when you need her, it may be because she’s too wrapped up in her own world to see anyone else’s needs but her own.
How does a narcissistic mother behave? – You always feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your mother
If every interaction with your mum feels like walking on eggshells, it may be because she’s so quick to anger that any little thing could set her off into a rage – and God forbid if YOU are the cause of that rage!
Narcissistic mothers can often lash out verbally (or even physically) at their children when they feel like they’ve been wronged in some way – even if the child was innocent or didn’t deserve the abuse meted out to them.
How does a narcissistic mother behave? – Your relationship with your father is strained because of your mum..
Narcissistic mothers often try to control their children by isolating them from other family members – particularly their fathers – in an attempt to make themselves the sole source of emotional support in their lives.
If your relationship with your father feels strained or distant, it may be because your narcissistic mum has been working hard to turn you against him.
How to Deal With a Narcissistic Mother
It’s not easy dealing with a narcissistic mother. If you have one, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
They’re self-centered, they’re manipulative, and they always think they’re right – even when they’re not.
It can be exhausting trying to keep up with their demands and constant need for attention.
But believe it or not, there are ways to deal with a narcissistic mother without completely losing your mind.
Here are some tips:
Don’t try to reason with them.
Narcissistic mothers don’t operate in the same reality as the rest of us.
They truly believe that they are always right, even when they’re wrong.
So don’t waste your breath trying to reason with them – it’ll only make you frustrated.
Set boundaries and stick to them.
A narcissistic mother will try to control every aspect of your life if you let her.
So it’s important to set boundaries and stick to them.
Let her know what you will and will not tolerate from her.
And if she doesn’t respect your boundaries, then she doesn’t deserve your time or attention.
Don’t take their bait.
Narcissistic mothers love to push buttons and stir up drama.
They get off on making other people react to them.
So the best thing you can do is refuse to take their bait.
Don’t descend to their level – just ignore them and walk away.
Focus on taking care of yourself.
The most important thing is to focus on taking care of yourself – both mentally and physically.
Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and getting regular exercise.
And if you need extra support, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor who can help you deal with the stress of having a narcissistic mother in your life.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit behavioral patterns that can be harmful to their children. These behaviours can include gaslighting, manipulation, verbal and emotional abuse.
Dealing with a narcissistic mother is no easy feat – but it is possible. Just remember to set boundaries, don’t take their bait, and focus on taking care of yourself first and foremost. If you can do those things, then you’ll be well on your way to managing the situation in a way that works best for you.
Frequently Asked Questions About The Behavior of a Narcissistic Mother
What are common behaviors of a narcissistic mother?
Common behaviors include belittling their children, being overly controlling, manipulating emotions, showing favoritism, and disregarding boundaries. They may also seek constant attention and admiration from their children.
The impact can be significant and long-lasting. Children of narcissistic mothers may struggle with self-esteem issues, develop unhealthy relationships, experience anxiety or depression, or even exhibit narcissistic traits themselves.
Setting boundaries is crucial when dealing with a narcissistic mother. Seek support from others, maintain your independence, practice self-care, and consider seeking professional help if necessary.
“Narcissistic mother syndrome” isn’t an official diagnosis but is often used to describe the effects of being raised by a narcissistic mother. This can include struggles with self-esteem, difficulty establishing healthy relationships, and a tendency towards people-pleasing behavior.
In some cases, limiting contact or cutting ties entirely may be the healthiest option. This is a personal decision and should be made based on your own mental and emotional wellbeing.