10 Ways to Manipulate a Narcissist – How to Beat Them at Their Own Game

Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging and draining experience. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and often lack empathy for others. However, with a little bit of thought and a pinch of malice, there are effective strategies you can use to manipulate a narcissist and beat them at their own game. In this post, we will explore 10 ways to manipulate a narcissist and come out on top.

Whether it’s in your personal or professional life, these tips will help you navigate the tricky waters of interacting with a narcissistic individual. So read on to discover how you can take control and outsmart the narcissist in your life.

Table of Contents

• 10 Ways to Manipulate a Narcissist
  • 1 – Flatter them.
  • 2 – Play up to their need for attention.
  • 3 – Appeal to their sense of superiority.
  • 4 – Make them feel indispensable.
  • 5 – Play on their fears.
  • 6 – Use their own words against them.
  • 7 – Give them what they want… but not all at once.
  • 8 – Threaten to withdraw your support.
  • 9 – Play hard to get.
  • 10 – Be patient.
• Final thoughts on these 10 ways to manipulate a narcissist
• For Further Reading

10 Ways to Manipulate a Narcissist

These 10 ways to manipulate a narcissist will help you to navigate challenging situations with the narcissist and achieve your desired outcomes.

1 – Flatter them.

Narcissists thrive on the admiration and praise of others. They have a constant need for validation and attention, which makes flattery an effective tool for manipulating them. When you compliment a narcissist, it reinforces their sense of self-importance and makes them feel good about themselves.

However, it’s important to note that flattery needs to be used strategically. If you overdo it, the narcissist may see through your tactics and become suspicious or defensive. It’s also important to make sure that your compliments are genuine and believable, or else they may have the opposite effect.

One effective way to use flattery is to tie it into something that the narcissist values or is proud of. For example, if they are successful in their career, you might say something like, “I can’t believe how successful you are! You’re amazing at what you do.” This not only strokes their ego but also reinforces their belief in their own abilities.

Overall, flattery is a powerful tool when dealing with narcissists. By using it strategically, you can manipulate them into doing what you want, while keeping them happy and pacified.

2 – Play up to their need for attention.

Narcissists have an insatiable need for attention and validation. They want to feel like they are the center of the universe and that everyone else revolves around them. If you can give them the attention they crave, you are increasing your chances of getting your own way.

One effective way of doing this is to agree with everything they say. Narcissists believe that their opinions are always right, so if you validate their beliefs, they will feel important. This doesn’t mean that you have to actually believe what they’re saying; rather, it’s about making them feel heard and understood.

Agreeing with a narcissist can also help you avoid conflict. Narcissists can be very argumentative and defensive when their beliefs are challenged, so by agreeing with them, you can avoid triggering these negative behaviours.

3 – Appeal to their sense of superiority.

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe that they are better than everyone else. They want to be admired, respected, and seen as superior. If you can make them feel like they are the smartest, most capable person in the room, they will be more likely to do what you want.

One effective way of doing this is to appeal to their ego by asking for their help or advice. For example, you might say something like, “I can see that you are much more experienced in this than I am. I would really appreciate your help with this problem.” This not only flatters their intelligence but also makes them feel important and valued.

4 – Make them feel indispensable.

Narcissists want to be needed and valued by others, and they crave recognition and admiration. If you can make them feel like you cannot cope without them, they will be more likely to cooperate with you.

One effective way of doing this is to appeal to their sense of importance by expressing your dependence on them. For example, you might say something like, “I don’t know what I would do without you. You are the only one who understands me.” This not only flatters their ego but also makes them feel needed and valuable.

5 – Play on their fears.

Narcissists are often driven by fear. If you can find out what their fears are and play on them, you will be able to manipulate them easily.

For instance you could use triangulation by telling them you know someone who is interested in the same thing as them to make them feel jealous and insecure or you could say something like, “Don’t worry if you do not have the time to help me out. Mr X offered to do it for me and I am sure they will do a good job.”

6 – Use their own words against them.

Using a narcissist’s own words against them can be an effective way of manipulating them into doing what you want. Here are a few ways to do it:

Repeat their own praise back to them: Narcissists love to be praised and admired, so if they’ve said something positive about themselves in the past, use it to your advantage. For example, if a narcissist has said “I’m the best at sales,” you could respond with “You really are amazing at sales. I’m sure you’ll have no problem closing this deal.”

Use their language: Narcissists often have their own unique way of speaking or using certain phrases. If you can mimic their language or style, it can make them feel like you’re on the same page and gain their trust. For example, if a narcissist uses the phrase “winning” frequently, you could say “I know that winning is really important to you, and I think we can both win in this situation.”

7 – Give them what they want… but not all at once.

Narcissists have a tendency to want things that are just out of reach. They may have grandiose aspirations or desires, such as achieving a certain level of success, being admired by others, or acquiring material possessions. If you can give them what they want, but not all at once, it can be an effective way of manipulating them into doing what you want.

This tactic works because narcissists thrive on the anticipation and excitement of getting what they want. By giving them a taste of what they desire, but not fulfilling their every wish immediately, you create a sense of longing and desire in them. This can make them more willing to comply with your requests in order to get closer to their ultimate goal.

For example, if a narcissistic co-worker wants a promotion that is currently unavailable, you might offer smaller opportunities for advancement or recognition in the meantime. By providing these smaller victories along the way, you keep them motivated and engaged while also gaining their cooperation towards other tasks or projects.

8 – Threaten to withdraw your support.

Narcissists often rely on the people around them for support. If you can threaten to withdraw your support, they will be more likely to do what you want.

When threatening to withdraw your support, it’s important to frame it in a way that appeals to the narcissist’s self-interest. You might highlight how much they have to gain by working with you rather than against you. By framing it as a positive, instead of as a threat, you increase your chances of getting them to do what you want.

9 – Play hard to get.

Narcissists have a tendency to want what they cannot have. As a result they are drawn to people or things that are unattainable. If you can play hard to get with a narcissist, it can be an effective way of manipulating them into doing what you want.

When playing hard to get with a narcissist, it’s important to create the illusion that you are in high demand and not easily won over. This might involve being aloof, noncommittal, or even dismissive towards their advances or requests. By creating this sense of mystery and intrigue around yourself, you tap into the narcissist’s need for attention and validation.

For example, if a narcissistic co-worker wants your help on a project, you might say something like “I’m not sure I’m ready to commit to this project. I need some more time to think about it.” This statement implies that your help is valuable and in demand, which can make the narcissist more eager to win your favour.

10 – Be patient.

Narcissists are often very impatient and want things to happen quickly, as waiting can be seen as a sign of weakness or vulnerability. This is why it is a good strategy to avoid making decisions or taking action until they have made the first move. By delaying your response, you also give yourself time to consider your options and come up with a strategy that will work in your favour.

By waiting for the narcissist to make the first move, you also put them in a position of having to prove themselves or negotiate with you. This can be an effective way of manipulating them into doing what you want while still maintaining control over the situation.

Final thoughts on these 10 ways to manipulate a narcissist

Manipulating a narcissist can be a tricky and delicate process, but with the right strategies and tactics, it is possible to get what you want while still maintaining control over the situation.

By following these 10 ways to manipulate a narcissist, you will be able to get them to do what you want. Remember, the key is to be convincing and to make them feel like they are the most important person in the room. If you can do that, you will be able to beat them at their own game.

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