10 Ways to Manipulate a Narcissist – How to Beat Them at Their Own Game

Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging and draining experience. However, with a little bit of thought and a pinch of malice, there are effective strategies you can use to manipulate a narcissist and beat them at their own game. In this post, we will explore 10 ways to manipulate a narcissist and come out on top.

Whether it’s in your personal or professional life, these tips will help you navigate the tricky waters of interacting with a narcissistic individual. So read on to discover how you can take control and beat the narcissist at their own manipulative game.

How to Manipulate a Narcissist

These 10 ways to manipulate a narcissist will help you to navigate challenging situations with the narcissist and achieve your desired outcomes.

1. Flatter Them

Narcissists thrive on the admiration and praise of others. They have a constant need for validation and attention, which makes flattery an effective tool for manipulating them.

When you compliment a narcissist, it reinforces their sense of self-importance and makes them feel good about themselves.

However, it’s important to note that flattery needs to be used strategically.

If you overdo it, the narcissist may see through your tactics and become suspicious or defensive.

By using it strategically, you can manipulate the narcissist into doing what you want, while keeping them happy and pacified.

10 Ways to Manipulate a Narcissist - flattery

2. Play Up To Their Need For Attention

Narcissists have an unquenchable thirst for attention and crave constant validation. They thrive on the feeling of being the centre of attention – the sun around which all others orbit.

By providing them with the attention they so ardently seek, you can strategically position yourself to influence their actions favorably towards your objectives.

One practical method to achieve this is through affirmation and agreement.

Narcissists believe that they are always right. Therefore, when you echo their sentiments and validate their beliefs, it enhances their sense of importance and self-worth.

By appeasing them you increase the likelihood that they will fall in line with your objectives.

narcissists have a massive superiority complex

3. Appeal To Their Sense of Superiority

Narcissists have inflated perceptions of self-worth and superiority. They thrive on admiration, respect, and the reaffirmation of their perceived dominance over others.

To manipulate a narcissist effectively, try to appeal to these core traits.

One practical method would be to seek their advice or assistance, thereby acknowledging their expertise and reinforcing their sense of superiority.

You might phrase it something like, “Your experience and understanding in this area far surpass mine. I could really benefit from your insights on this issue.

This makes them feel important, valued, and, above all, superior. This is likely to motivate them to cooperate with you, as it aligns with their need for validation.


4. Make Them Feel Indispensable

One way to make a narcissist feel indispensable is by expressing your dependence on them in a calculated manner. You could articulate how their presence or inputs have been instrumental in your life.

For instance, you might say, “I’m at a loss. I need your guidance.”

Another strategy is to frequently seek their advice or opinion on matters, further emphasizing their indispensability. This not only gives them a sense of control but also provides an avenue for them to showcase their ‘expertise.’

10 ways to manipulate a narcissist

5. Play On Their Fears

Narcissists, despite their outward display of confidence and superiority, often harbor deep-seated fears and insecurities.

These vulnerabilities can serve as leverage points if you’re looking to influence their behavior subtly.

One common fear among narcissists is the dread of not being unique or the best.

To play on this fear, you could employ a technique known as triangulation. This involves introducing the idea of another person who shares similar interests or competencies.

For instance, you might say, “You know, I met someone else who has a remarkable understanding of this topic, just like you.”

This statement does two things.

First, it subtly challenges their perceived uniqueness, stirring a sense of competition.

Second, it could ignite a spark of jealousy, making them more eager to assert their superiority by proving they are indeed the best.

Another effective strategy is to insinuate that others might be capable of filling their role.

You could say something along the lines of, “I understand if you’re too busy to help me with this. I’ve spoken to Mr. X, and they seem more than capable of doing a good job.”

This plays on their fear of being replaceable and could motivate them to step up and reclaim their perceived indispensability.

While utilizing this tactic, it’s essential to exercise extreme caution. If misused or taken to the extreme, it could inadvertently cross into the realm of emotional abuse. While it may sometimes seem that the only way to combat fire is with fire, it’s critical not to let your actions eclipse the narcissist’s behavior.

10 Ways To Manipulate a Narcissist - 5. Play on their fears

6. Use Their Own Words Against Them

Among the myriad of strategies to manipulate a narcissist, one particularly effective method involves leveraging their own words against them.

This strategy is not only subtle but also allows you to navigate the delicate narcissistic ego without triggering defensiveness.

By echoing their self-congratulatory remarks, you can feed their need for validation while subtly influencing their actions.

For instance, if a narcissist boasts about being an exceptional salesperson, you might respond with, “Indeed, your sales skills are truly unparalleled. I’m confident you’ll close this deal effortlessly.”

This reaffirms their self-perception and can nudge them towards the action you desire.

10 Ways To Manipulate a Narcissist - 6. Use their own words against them

7. Give Them What They Want… But Not All At Once

An effective strategy in dealing with narcissists is to gradually provide them with what they desire, rather than satisfying their wants all at once.

Narcissists often crave things that seem elusive – whether it’s success, public admiration, or material wealth. By strategically doling out what they want, you can manipulate their actions in your favor.

This approach works primarily because narcissists thrive on the thrill of anticipation and the exhilaration of achieving their desires.

Offering them a hint of what they yearn for, without fully satiating their desires immediately, cultivates a sense of yearning in them.

This heightened anticipation can make them more amenable to fulfilling your requests, as they perceive it as a step closer to their ultimate objective.

how to manipulate a narcissist

8. Threaten To Withdraw Your Support

Another useful strategy that you can use when dealing with narcississts is the threat of withdrawing your support.

Narcissists are dependent on others for bolstering their self-esteem and meeting their needs, which puts you in a position of leverage. When you threaten to withdraw your support, make sure to present it in a way that appeals to the narcissist’s self-interest.

Instead of coming across as hostile, you could emphasize the benefits they stand to lose if they don’t cooperate. For instance, you could underscore how valuable your partnership or relationship is to them, highlighting the gains they’ve made thanks to your support.

This might involve reminding them of the times you’ve helped them succeed or achieve recognition, or pointing out the ways in which your skills or resources complement theirs.

Threaten to withdraw your support

9. Play Hard To Get

Narcissists often yearn for what they perceive as unattainable, making ‘playing hard to get’ an impactful strategy for manipulating their behaviour.

This tactic can be particularly potent when dealing with a narcissist, as it taps into their inherent desire for exclusivity and validation.

When you adopt a stance of being hard to get, you craft an illusion of being highly sought-after and not easily swayed.

This could entail maintaining an air of detachment, being noncommittal, or even appearing dismissive towards their advances or requests.

It creates a dynamic where they feel they need to earn your favor, making them more likely to comply with your requests or expectations.

 Play hard to get

10. Be Patient

Patience is indeed a virtue, especially when dealing with narcissists.

A narcissist is impatient and craves immediate gratification, so being patient can be an effective way to manipulate them.

Avoid rushing into decisions or actions. Instead, wait for the narcissist to make the first move.

This strategy not only gives you time to evaluate your options but also allows you to craft a plan that will work to your advantage.

By letting the narcissist initiate, you place them in a position where they feel compelled to prove themselves or negotiate with you. This tactic subtly shifts the power balance in your favor.

The narcissist may feel the need to offer concessions or agree to your terms to win your approval or cooperation. This measured approach also demonstrates your confidence and self-assuredness, traits that narcissists often respect.


Final Thoughts On How To Manipulate a Narcisst

Dealing with narcissists can be challenging, but understanding their behaviors and motivations can equip you with the necessary tools to navigate these situations more effectively.

While strategies such as playing hard to get, threatening to withdraw support, or exercising patience can be effective in certain situations, they should be used judiciously.

It’s essential not to lose sight of the importance of healthy communication and mutual respect in any interaction or relationship.

It’s also worth mentioning that manipulation should never be the go-to method in dealing with others, including narcissists.

Ultimately, the goal should be to foster healthier dynamics where both parties feel valued and heard.

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