There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as narcissists are attracted to all types of people. However, there are a few key character traits that narcissists find particularly attractive in a partner.
In general, they are drawn to people who are beautiful, successful, and popular. They also tend to be drawn to those who have a lot of power and status.
Narcissists are obsessed with appearances and often have a superficial view of the world. As a result, they gravitate towards people who they believe will make them look good. The more beautiful and successful they are, the more they will be able to brag about their association with that person.
Narcissists are also attracted to people who are willing to give them a lot of attention and admiration. They crave attention and validation and will often go to great lengths to get it.
Who are narcissists attracted to as partners?
There is a big difference between who the narcissist hangs out with, as opposed to who they start an intimate relationship with.
While beauty and appearances will matter when choosing a partner, the narcissist is more likely to prioritise the following characteristics in their choice of a mate.
Narcissists are attracted to Caretakers or Codependent people
Narcissists are attracted to those who they can control and who will cater to their every need. This means that they are more likely to pair up with someone who is willing to sacrifice themselves and ignore their own needs in order to prioritise the narcissist.
Narcissists are attracted to people who are emotionally vulnerable.
Narcissists are attracted to those who they can easily hurt and manipulate. While this might seem like a strange thing to be attracted to, it actually allows the narcissist to feel powerful and in control.
Easy going people who are less likely to push back when the narcissist acts unreasonably. The last thing a narcissist wants is someone who is going to challenge them or call them out on their bad behaviour. They are attracted to those who will just go along with whatever they want.
Narcissists are attracted to generous and empathetic people
People who are kind and compassionate are more likely to fall for a sob story or to forgive the narcissist’s trespasses. Narcissists are attracted to those who they can take advantage of and who will be there for them no matter what. At the end of the day, the narcissist is looking for someone who will make them feel good about themselves and who they can control.
Narcissists are attracted to insecure people
If a person is not sure of themselves, they are less likely to have strong boundaries, and will put up with bad behaviour. The narcissist is attracted to those who they can easily control and who will be less likely to push back when their partner slowly erodes their autonomy and turns them into a source of narcissistic supply on tap.
How can you identify the signs and avoid getting ensnared by a narcissist?
The best way to avoid getting ensnared by a narcissist is to be aware of the signs. Some common signs that you might be dating a narcissist include:
- You feel like you are always walking on eggshells around them.
- They constantly belittle you or put you down.
- They are always the centre of attention and need to be the life of the party.
- They have a history of short-term relationships and are always moving on to the next person.
- They are always talking about themselves and their accomplishments.
- They have a sense of entitlement and expect special treatment.
- They are always trying to control you and dictate how you should live your life.
- They are extremely jealous and possessive.
- They are always making demands but never seem to be satisfied.
- They are never taking responsibility for their own actions and always blame others.
If you think you might be dating a narcissist, my advice would be to get out of the relationship immediately.
When considering what to do, please keep the following points in mind.
No matter how much you love the narcissist or how hard you try, they will never change. A narcissist is only interested in one thing – themselves.
They will never truly love you or care about your needs and wants. The only person they care about is themselves and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want, even if it means hurting you in the process.
Narcissists are experts at manipulation and can be very charming. They will say and do whatever it takes to get you to stay with them.
For Further Reading
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
- How to Deal with a Narcissist
- Narcissistic Abuse – How Narcissists Manipulate and Hurt their Victims
- How to Define a Narcissist: The 5 Traits You Need to Look Out For
- How Narcissistic Leaders Create Toxic Workplaces
- The Narcissist and the Enabler – a match made in hell
- The Difference Between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Traits
- Narcissistic Supply – Feeding the Narcissistic Ego
- Narcissistic Injury – The Agony of the Fragile Narcissistic Ego
- 7 Types of Narcissistic Abuse with Practical Examples
- The 10 Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
- 8 Ways Narcissists Get Worse with Age
- Can a Narcissist feel Empathy? The Answer May Surprise You
- The Devious Traits of the Female Narcissist – What to Look Out For
- Narcissist Meme Gallery
- How to Tell If You’re a Narcissist
- Does a narcissist ever truly regret hurting people?
- Can Narcissists Change? The Truth About Personality Disorders and How to Treat Them
- Can a Narcissist Ever Be Happy? Appearances May Be Deceptive
- Can a Narcissist Be Nice? The Myth of the Generous Narcissist
- Can the agony of the narcissistic injury ever be healed?
- What is the Root Cause of Narcissism?
- What’s a Narcissist? Characteristics of a Narcissist and How to Spot Them
- NPD – The Warning Signs, Impact and Treatment Options for this Personality Disorder
- Narcissist vs Sociopath – What is the Difference and Which is Worse?
- The Five Types of Narcissist – Which One Are You Dealing With?
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Women – The Warning Signs You Need to Know
- What is an Enabler? A Critical Asset for the Narcissist
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) – Symptoms, Risk Factors and Treatment
- Is Narcissism a Mental Illness? Getting to Grips with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- Narcissist – Covert – How to Recognize and Deal with a Covert Narcissist
- The Traits of a Covert Narcissist: What You Need to Know
- The Corrosive Impact of Narcissism in Relationships – Is Your Partner a Narcissist?
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