What is a Narcissist?

The term ‘narcissism’ originates from the Greek myth of Narcissus, a man so captivated by his own reflection in a pool of water that he tragically wasted away and died, unable to tear himself away from it. In contemporary understanding, a narcissist is someone who has a complex psychological profile that goes beyond mere self-fascination or vanity.

Narcissism manifests in one of two primary ways – either as a person who has unusually high narcissistic traits, or in more extreme cases, as someone who has a mental health condition known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

what is a narcissist

Narcissism thus exists in a spectrum, ranging from people who exhibit high narcissistic traits, such as grandiosity, a strong need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, to people who have a personality disorder that is so pervasive and damaging that they significantly impair the person’s ability to function in social, occupational, or other important areas of life.

In both cases, narcissism leads to challenges in relationships and interactions with others due to the individual’s intense focus on themselves and their needs to the exclusion of all else.

what is a narcissist

Understanding Narcissistic Traits

Narcissistic traits can be seen to varying degrees in everyone. However, in some cases, they are so pronounced that they start to impact the lives of the narcissistic person and also of those around them.

Nonetheless, having these traits still does not necessarily mean that the person in question has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Here are some key narcissistic traits:


Grandiosity is a hallmark trait of narcissism.

It involves an inflated sense of self-importance, superiority, and a constant need to be admired by others.

Individuals exhibiting grandiosity believe they are unique or special and should only associate with people of high status.

narcissism checklist grandiosity

Need for Admiration

Narcissists have a continuous need for admiration from others.

They seek constant praise and compliments, and their self-esteem depends heavily on how others perceive them.

They react with anger or disappointment when they don’t receive the admiration they believe they deserve.

Lack of Empathy

Narcissists are so engrossed in their own desires and interests that they neglect or outright ignore the feelings and needs of those around them.

This lack of empathy manifests in various ways, from dismissing others’ emotions as irrelevant or trivial to complete indifference to the distress or discomfort they may cause.

red flags of a narcissist entitlement

Sense of Entitlement

A strong sense of entitlement is another common narcissistic trait.

Individuals with this trait believe they deserve special treatment and have unrealistic expectations of favorable treatment from others.

They become impatient or angry when they don’t receive what they believe they’re entitled to.

Exploitative Behavior

Narcissists will not hesitate to take advantage of others to achieve their own ends.

This exploitative behavior includes manipulating others for personal gain, without considering the potential harm or consequences for the other person.

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5), provides a framework for understanding what constitutes Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

This diagnostic manual lists nine criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. To be diagnosed with NPD, a person must meet at least five of these criteria.

It’s important to note that only a qualified mental health professional can make this diagnosis.

The diagnostic criteria for NPD include:

  1. A grandiose sense of self-importance.
  2. Pre-occupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
  3. A belief that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
  4. A constant craving for excessive admiration.
  5. An overwhelming sense of entitlement.
  6. Is interpersonally exploitative.
  7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
  8. Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them.
  9. Arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
what is a narcissist

Origins and Causes of Narcissism

The exact cause of narcissistic personality disorder remains unknown, but it’s generally agreed that it stems from a complex mix of factors including genetic, environmental, social, and psychological components.

It’s important to note that these factors don’t operate in isolation.

The development of NPD typically involves a combination of these elements, and the specific mix varies from person to person.

While these factors can help us understand potential origins of narcissism, they don’t provide a definitive roadmap for predicting who will develop Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

dna narcissistic personality disorder

Genetic and Biological Factors

Research suggests that there may be a genetic predisposition to NPD.

Some studies indicate that personality disorders, including narcissism, have a moderate heritability factor.

However, having a genetic predisposition doesn’t guarantee the development of NPD – environmental influences also play a significant role.

Environmental Influences

Childhood experiences have been commonly linked to the development of NPD.

These experiences might include excessive pampering or, conversely, excessive criticism, neglect, or abuse.

Children who are taught to associate their value with achievements or the approval of others may also be at risk.

Psychological Factors

Certain personality and psychological factors may contribute to the development of NPD.

For instance, an individual’s disposition towards aggression, impulsivity, or anxiety could potentially increase the likelihood of developing narcissistic tendencies.

spoiled child

Prevalence of Narcissism and Associated Occupations

Studies show varying prevalence rates for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). The rates range from as low as 0.5% to as high as 6.2% of the general population, according to sources from the National Institutes of Health and the American Psychological Association.

It is also worth noting that prevalence is significantly higher in men (7.7%) than women (4.8%).

Additionally, while narcissism is prevalent to varying degrees in the general population, it appears to be more common in certain professions. Several studies suggest that professions related to power and prestige often draw individuals with higher levels of narcissism.

Leadership roles, including CEOs, politicians, and high-ranking officials, are often associated with high narcissistic traits. This is possibly due to the attraction of power, control, and admiration that these positions offer.

Similarly, careers in entertainment and media, such as acting, television, and radio, may attract those with narcissistic tendencies due to the visibility, attention, and admiration associated with these fields.

It’s important to clarify that not everyone in these professions is a narcissist, and narcissists can be found in all walks of life. The correlation between certain occupations and narcissism is just an observation based on research data and does not imply causation.

politician narcissist

Different Types of Narcissists

Narcissists come in different types, each with its unique characteristics.

Grandiose Narcissist

The grandiose narcissist, often the most identifiable type, is characterized by outward arrogance, self-absorption, and an inflated sense of their abilities and importance.

They are often charismatic and can easily draw people in with their confidence and charm.

However, beneath this confident exterior lies an insatiable need for admiration and validation.

Grandiose narcissists have little regard for the feelings and needs of the people around them, focusing primarily on themselves.

grandiose narcissist

The Vulnerable Narcissist

Vulnerable narcissists, on the other hand, are more introverted.

While they still harbor feelings of superiority, these individuals are often overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy and hypersensitivity to criticism.

Unlike grandiose narcissists, vulnerable narcissists may appear shy and reserved at first glance.

However, they can become defensive and withdrawn when they feel threatened or criticized.

Their narcissism is often a defense mechanism against deep-seated feelings of insecurity and inferiority.

vulnerable narcissist

The Malignant Narcissist

Malignant narcissists are perhaps the most destructive type.

They combine elements of narcissism with antisocial behavior, aggression, and paranoia.

These individuals are manipulative, seeking power and control over others. They also lack empathy and have little regard for the wellbeing of others.

Their behavior can be extremely harmful, leading to toxic relationships and environments. Malignant narcissists often justify their actions by believing they are superior and entitled to behave as they please.

malignant narcissist

Abuse Tactics Used by Narcissists

Narcissists often resort to various tactics to manipulate and control others. Some of these tactics include:

Narcissist Abuse Tactics – Gaslighting

Gaslighting is one of the most insidious tactics narcissists use.

It’s a psychological manipulation technique where the narcissist makes the victim question their reality and sanity.

By denying facts, making up stories, or twisting information, they create an alternate reality that suits their narrative.

The aim of gaslighting is to disorient the victim, making them doubt their perceptions and memories, which ultimately leads to a sense of confusion and dependency on the narcissist for ‘truth’.

narcissistic gaslighting

Narcissist Abuse Tactics – Love Bombing

Love bombing is another common tactic used by narcissists, particularly in the early stages of a relationship.

They shower their potential victims with excessive affection, attention, compliments, and gifts to lure them in.

This intense courtship phase can feel incredibly flattering and overwhelming, leading the victim to believe they’ve found an exceptionally caring person.

However, once the victim is hooked, the narcissist often changes their behavior drastically, becoming controlling or abusive.

Narcissist Abuse Tactics – Devaluation

Once the love bombing phase ends, devaluation often begins.

In this stage, the narcissist will belittle, criticize, and demean the victim consistently.

They will make harsh comments, ridicule the victim, or point out their flaws relentlessly.

The goal of devaluation is to make the victim feel worthless and dependent on the narcissist’s approval.

The Definition of Triangulation in Narcissistic Abuse: A Closer Look

Narcissist Abuse Tactics – Triangulation

Triangulation is a complex and manipulative tactic where narcissists bring a third person into their relationship dynamics.

This could be an ex-partner, a friend, a family member, or even a fictional character.

The purpose of triangulation is to create jealousy, competition, or insecurity.

By comparing the victim to this third person, the narcissist can make the victim feel inadequate and vie for the narcissist’s approval.

Narcissist Abuse Tactics – Projection

Projection is a defense mechanism commonly used by narcissists.

They accuse others of the behaviors or faults they are guilty of themselves.

For instance, a narcissist who is being unfaithful may accuse their partner of infidelity.

This tactic serves to deflect blame and attention away from their own misconduct and onto the innocent party.

narcissistic projection

Narcissist Abuse Tactics – Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is another manipulative tactic narcissists use to exert control and cause harm.

It involves ignoring the victim, refusing to communicate, and withholding affection or attention.

The aim is to punish the victim for perceived slights and to reinforce the narcissist’s dominance in the relationship.

The silent treatment can be incredibly damaging, leading to feelings of confusion, rejection, and despair in the victim.

Narcissist Abuse Tactics – Smear Campaigns

Smear campaigns involve spreading false rumors or exaggerating truths about the victim to damage their reputation.

A narcissist will often resort to smear campaigns when they feel threatened or when the relationship ends, in an attempt to maintain their image and control the narrative.

These campaigns can cause significant emotional distress and social isolation for the victim.

Narcissist Abuse Tactics – Hoovering

Hoovering is a tactic used by narcissists to suck their victims back into a relationship after a period of separation or conflict.

Named after the Hoover vacuum cleaner, this tactic involves the narcissist making false promises, apologizing profusely, or behaving exceptionally charming to lure the victim back.

However, once the victim is back in their grasp, the narcissist often reverts to their abusive behavior.

Can Narcissism be Cured?

Can Narcissism be Cured?

The question of a “cure” for narcissism is not straightforward.

It’s important to note that narcissism, like other personality disorders, is deeply ingrained in an individual’s personality and thought patterns, making it challenging to treat.

However, this does not mean that a narcissist cannot change or improve their behaviors.

With therapy, particularly psychotherapy or cognitive-behavioral therapy, narcissists can gain insight into their condition, understand the impact of their actions on others, and learn healthier ways of relating to people.

cognitive behavioral therapy

One key challenge is that individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder often do not believe they have a problem, so they see no reason to ask for help.

This denial is a common trait among narcissists, as admitting to needing help would constitute a mortal a blow to their carefully constructed self-image.

That said, in cases where a narcissist does seek help and is committed to therapy, change is possible. Therapy can help them manage their symptoms, build healthier relationships, and lead more fulfilling lives.

It’s also crucial for those in a relationship with a narcissist to seek help, as they may need support and strategies to cope with the situation.

Thus while there may not be a ‘cure’ for narcissism in the traditional sense, treatment and support can make a significant difference. It requires commitment, effort, and time, but improvement and change are certainly possible.


Concluding Thoughts on Understanding Narcissism

In exploring the world of narcissism, we’ve delved into the different types of narcissists and the tactics they commonly use to manipulate and control others.

This will help you to recognize a narcissist and their behaviour should you come across one. That said, remember that while it’s essential to be aware of these characteristics and tactics, only trained mental health professionals can diagnose narcissistic personality disorder.

In closing, remember that knowledge is power. Understanding what a narcissist is and how they operate equips you to protect yourself and advocate for your wellbeing.

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