Mothers are supposed to be the nurturers and protectors in our lives. However, this isn’t always the case. When it comes to narcissistic mothers, their behaviour can range from overly controlling and critical to downright abusive. Read on to learn more about the 25 common characteristics of a narcissistic mother.
A narcissistic mother will put her own needs ahead of those of her children, often without even realizing it. She may be so focused on making herself look good that she fails to see how her behaviour affects her children’s feelings.
2 – Lack Of Empathy
Narcissistic mothers struggle to empathize with their children’s emotions or needs, which can leave them feeling invalidated and unheard.
3 – Entitled and Domineering Behaviour
Narcissistic mothers tend to think that rules don’t apply to them, which can lead them to being domineering in their relationships with their children. They may expect unwavering obedience from their kids at all times, regardless of the circumstances.
4 – Overly Controlling
A narcissistic mother will often try to control every aspect of her child’s life, from what clothes they wear to who they hang out with and even their career choices. They want their children to make them proud or “look good” in public, but rarely show any interest in the things that truly make their children happy.
5 – Need For Admiration and Validation
Narcissistic mothers need constant admiration from others in order to feel validated in their lives, which can include demanding praise from their children or seeking out recognition through social media platforms such as Instagram or Facebook.
6 – Poor Boundaries
Narcissistic mothers may not understand boundaries, especially when it comes to interacting with their kids, leading them to overstep in areas such as discipline or personal space/privacy rights.
7 – Unrealistic Expectations
Narcissistic mothers set unrealistic expectations for themselves which they then impose on their kids by expecting perfect grades, perfect behaviour, etc., regardless of the actual abilities or resources available to the child.
8 – Unhealthy Jealousy
A narcissistic mother may be jealous of her child’s success or popularity among peers, leading her to undermine said success by creating drama or pitting other family members against each other in an effort to bring attention back onto herself .
9 – Refusal To Take Responsibility
Narcissistic mothers rarely take responsibility for anything wrong they do because they view themselves as perfect beings who are above reproach .
10 – Overly Critical
A narcissistic mother will constantly criticize her child’s appearance , intellect , personality , lifestyle choices , etc., leaving the child feeling belittled and inadequate.
She will criticize everything that doesn’t fit into her idea of perfect behaviour, which can include anything from your choice of clothing all the way up through higher education aspirations. Nothing is spared from her harsh critique if it doesn’t suit her standards
11 – Preference and Favouritism
A narcissistic mother may show favouritism towards one particular child while treating another unfairly , creating feelings of jealousy within the family unit .
12 – Aggressive Outbursts
A narcissistic mother may become enraged at any perceived slight against herself , leading her into aggressive outbursts where she says hurtful things or lashes out physically against those closest to her .
13 – Difficulty With Conflict Resolution
Narcissistic mothers struggle with conflict resolution because they are unwilling (or unable) to compromise or admit fault when faced with a disagreement between two parties .
14 – Gaslighting
This type of psychological manipulation involves using lies, distortions , exaggerations , etc., in order for someone (in this case a narcissistic mother)to gain power over someone else (their child).
15 – Lack Of Trustworthiness
Due to lying so frequently about various matters (including but not limited too accomplishments , finances , relationships ), a narcissist typically has difficulty establishing trust with anyone around them, including family members.
16 – Unavailable
A narcissistic mother may distance herself from her child by being emotionally unavailable when they need her most. She may be too wrapped up in her own world and needs that she ignores any attempts at communication or connection with her child.
17 – Inability To Love Unconditionally
Since narcissists focus primarily on themselves rather than looking outwardly at others’ needs/wants/feelings/etc., they find it difficult, if not impossible, to love unconditionally. Instead, they provide conditional love based upon how what the other person (in this case a son or daughter ) can do for them. They view their child in the same way as they view other people, namely as a source of narcissistic supply.
18 – Unpredictable
One moment a narcissistic mother might seem loving and supportive, while the next she could turn into someone you don’t recognize – angry, hostile, and demanding all at once! This unpredictable behaviour can cause feelings of insecurity in children who never know when their parent is going to start acting differently than expected or desired behaviour changes suddenly..
19 – Blaming Others
Narcissistic mothers tend to blame others whenever something goes wrong instead taking responsibility for themselves—even if they are clearly at fault
20 – Difficulty With Intimacy
It is difficult, if not impossible, for narcissists to form intimate connections with anyone around them, including family members.
21 – Refusal To Share Credit
Since narcissists are always striving for attention and validation from those around them, they often refuse to share credit when it comes time for giving praise regarding accomplishments no matter how small or large such an accomplishment might be.
22 – Self-Centred
As the name implies, narcissists are highly self-centered individuals who only focus on themselves and what makes them happy; often times forgetting about everyone else in the process (including their own family members). This means that a narcissistic mother will often put her own needs before those of her child(ren) – whether it is financial gain or personal satisfaction – no matter how much harm this may cause in the short or long term consequences might be..
23 – Manipulative
Narcissists have a knack for manipulating situations so that everything ends up going their way – including parenting decisions! They may twist facts or circumstances around so that it is easier for them to get what they want without having to face any consequences for it later on down the line.
24 – Competitive
A narcissistic mother may compare her child’s accomplishments with those of other people’s children, making it seem like nothing is ever quite good enough for her standards – even if it is actually quite impressive! This type of comparison can leave the child feeling inadequate and worthless, unable to live up to their parent’s expectations no matter how hard they try.
25 – Emotionally Abusive
Narcissistic mothers may not physically abuse their children, but they can be emotionally abusive by insulting them or belittling them in front of others. They may also use guilt-tripping as a way of getting their children to do what they want or act how they want them to act.
Final Thoughts on the 25 Characteristics of a Narcissistic Mother
A narcissistic mother will inevitably have a long-lasting effect on their child’s life.
It is important for children affected by this type of behaviour to recognize the signs early on, so that they can begin working on healing themselves from the trauma caused by this kind of abuse.
Growing up with a narcissistic mother can be difficult but recognizing these 25 characteristics can help you gain insight into how these behaviours impacted your life and allow you to move forward in your healing journey with greater understanding and compassion towards yourself and others who have been affected by similar experiences.
Posts about Narcissistic Mothers And Their Daughters
DoNM (Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers)
ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists)
The Impact of Growing Up With A Narcissistic Mother on Her Daughter
What Do Narcissistic Mothers Do To Their Daughters?
Daughters of Elderly Narcissistic Mothers – Understanding Complicated Love
Quiz – Is My Mother a Narcissist?
51 Things Narcissistic Mothers Say – How to Handle Difficult Conversations with Your Narcissistic Mother
Do Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Become Narcissists?
10 Symptoms of Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
How Does a Narcissistic Mother Behave?
Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers (DoNM) – The Hardship of Growing Up in a Narcissistic Family
Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers – Growing Up with a Narcissistic Mother
The Narcissist Mother – How to Identify and Deal with this Personality Type
25 Characteristics of a Narcissistic Mother
4 Types of Unhealthy Mother-Daughter Relationships
What are the Different Types of Narcissistic Mothers?
Exposing the Nice Narcissist Mother – Understanding Covert Narcissism
Walking Away From a Narcissistic Mother
13 Toxic Characteristics of a Narcissistic Mother
Disclosure: Please note that some of the links in this post are affiliate links. When you use one of my affiliate links, the company compensates me. At no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a commission, which helps me run this blog and keep my in-depth content free of charge for all my readers.