What is Narcissist Discard and what are the signs?

Narcissist Discard is a term used in narcissistic abuse circles to describe the sudden, often chaotic and unplanned ending of a relationship with a narcissist.

It is usually the case that the unexpected nature and the abruptness of the narcissist’s decision totally blindsides their partner. In addition they are often utterly devastated because of the cruel way the narcissist unceremoniously offloads them.

In this blog post, I will explore what narcissist discard is, what to look for if you think you may be experiencing it, and the impact it can have on victims.

If you have recently been discarded by a narcissist, please know that you are not alone.

Narcissists and Relationships

Narcissists are not capable of maintaining healthy, stable relationships with anyone. They only maintain relationships as long as the person is still useful to them.

When a narcissist no longer needs someone in their lives, they quickly discard them. Then they move on to a new source of narcissistic supply. What’s more, the narcissist will blame the victim for the termination of the relationship once discard occurs.

The narcissist will gaslight their ex and claim that everything was their fault, even in cases where it most obviously is not.

Signs of Narcissist Discard

If you think you may be experiencing discard, there are some signs to look for.

One sign is that the narcissist will start making excuses for why they can’t see or talk to you anymore. They may give vague reasons such as needing time “to focus on themselves” or being too busy with work or other things.

The narcissist may also stop responding to your texts or calls and disappear without any explanation. In fact many narcissists resort to ghosting their victims if this is at all possible.

The impact on victims

Discard has a huge impact on victims because it often comes without warning and is extremely painful.

Many victims are traumatized after being discarded by a narcissist because of the gaslighting and manipulation they are subjected to both during and after the breakup.

If you are going through narcissist discard, remember that you did nothing wrong. Even if you cannot understand the reason for the breakup, their behaviour is about them – not you. If the narcissist gets abusive, reach out for help. Talk to your friends or family members, a therapist, hotline or support group in your area.

You deserve love and happiness. It might not feel that way at the moment but ‘losing’ the narcissist is actually a positive thing. You were never going to be truly happy with them, so you are better off without them.

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