Narcissist discard is a term used to describe the phenomenon of a narcissist suddenly ending all contact with someone they were previously close with. This act is done often without any warning or explanation, leaving the victim feeling confused and hurt.
The person being discarded may have been emotionally invested in the relationship, only to be given no closure or chance to make things right. Narcissist discarding can happen at any stage of a relationship, even if it has been long-term and serious
It is usually the case that the unexpected nature and the abruptness of the narcissist’s decision totally blindsides their partner. In addition they are often utterly devastated because of the cruel way the narcissist unceremoniously offloads them.
Narcissists and Relationships
Narcissists are not capable of maintaining healthy, stable relationships with anyone. They prefer to stay in relationships where they have total control and power over their partner and use them for their own gain.
This can lead to an imbalance of power in the relationship as the narcissist takes advantage of their partner’s vulnerabilities.
When their partner is no longer useful, a narcissist may discard them without any warning or explanation, leaving them feeling confused and hurt. Then they move on to a new source of narcissistic supply. What’s more, the narcissist will blame the victim for the termination of the relationship once discard occurs.
The narcissist will gaslight their ex and claim that everything was their fault, even in cases where it most obviously is not.
Ultimately, narcissists are not equipped to maintain healthy relationships and are likely to cause more harm than good in the long run.
Signs of Narcissist Discard
Unilateral decision-making: Narcissists will often make decisions or take actions without consulting their partner. They may dismiss their partner’s opinions or feelings and create an atmosphere of control where the partner is not allowed to question them.
Lack of communication: Narcissists may suddenly stop returning calls or messages, ignore requests for conversation, or drastically reduce communication with their partner. This sudden lack of communication is a sign that the narcissist is preparing to discard the relationship.
Criticism and blame: During this period, the narcissist may start blaming their partner for any issues in the relationship, using insults and criticism as a way to deflect responsibility away from themselves.
Withdrawal of affection: The narcissist may withdraw all forms of physical and emotional intimacy from their partner in order to push them away before discarding them entirely. This can be devastating, particularly for someone who has been in a long-term relationship which they believed was based on love on trust.
The impact on victims
Discard has a huge impact on victims because it often comes without warning and is extremely painful. Many victims are traumatized after being discarded by a narcissist because of the gaslighting and manipulation they are subjected to both during and after the breakup.
Emotional trauma: Narcissistic discard can lead to intense emotional trauma for the partner being discarded. Feelings of confusion, abandonment, and betrayal can be overwhelming and can take a long time to process and recover from.
Self-doubt: The partner may start to doubt their own self-worth and feel like they are not good enough or capable of being in a successful relationship. They may lack confidence in themselves as well as their abilities.
Fear of commitment: After experiencing narcissistic discard, the partner may develop an extreme fear of commitment and be hesitant to enter into another relationship out of fear that it will end the same way as before.
Low self-esteem: The humiliation and pain caused by a narcissistic discard may leave the partner feeling inadequate and worthless, leading to low self-esteem that affects all aspects of their life moving forward.
Withdrawal from relationships: The partner becomes a recluse and avoids contact with friends, family members, or other potential romantic partners.
Healing after Narcissist Discard
Acknowledge your emotions: It is important to acknowledge and validate the emotions you are feeling after a narcissistic discard. Allow yourself to process the hurt and confusion, so that you can begin to move on in a healthy way.
Avoid self-blame: It is important not to blame yourself for what happened, as it was not your fault. Acknowledge any role you may have played in the situation but do not let it define you or your worth.
Spend time with supportive people: Surround yourself with supportive family members and friends who can be there for you during this difficult time and remind you of your worth and potential.
Practice self-care: Take time to focus on yourself by engaging in activities that make you feel good and help bring some peace into your life. This could mean anything from getting enough sleep, making healthy meals for yourself, going for walks in nature, doing yoga or painting; anything that allows some peace of mind can help in the healing process.
Seek professional help: If necessary, seek out professional counseling or therapy to help cope with any underlying issues caused by the narcissistic discard which may hinder progress towards recovery if left unaddressed.
Final Thoughts on Narcissist Discard
Narcissist discard can be an extremely painful experience. It is important to take time to heal and process the emotions associated with such a painful event and remind yourself that you are worthy and deserve love. Recognizing signs of narcissistic behavior early on can help you avoid future pain and begin creating relationships based on trust and mutual respect.
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Carla Corelli is an author, advocate, and survivor of narcissistic abuse. Having grown up with a narcissistic father, Carla experienced firsthand the profound impact of psychological and emotional abuse. Fueled by her personal journey, she pursued a degree in psychology and has dedicated herself to shedding light on the complexities of narcissistic abuse.
With over fifteen years of experience in writing and advocating for survivors, Carla is deeply committed to providing support, education, and empowerment to those who have endured similar trauma. Through her insightful articles and resources, Carla endeavors to offer a compassionate space for healing and growth, while advocating for greater awareness and understanding of narcissistic abuse.
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