Narcissist Discard is a term used in narcissistic abuse circles to describe the sudden, often chaotic and unplanned ending of a relationship with a narcissist.
It is usually the case that the unexpected nature and the abruptness of the narcissist’s decision totally blindsides their partner. In addition they are often utterly devastated because of the cruel way the narcissist unceremoniously offloads them.
In this blog post, I will explore what narcissist discard is, what to look for if you think you may be experiencing it, and the impact it can have on victims.
If you have recently been discarded by a narcissist, please know that you are not alone.
Narcissists and Relationships
Narcissists are not capable of maintaining healthy, stable relationships with anyone. They only maintain relationships as long as the person is still useful to them.
When a narcissist no longer needs someone in their lives, they quickly discard them. Then they move on to a new source of narcissistic supply. What’s more, the narcissist will blame the victim for the termination of the relationship once discard occurs.
The narcissist will gaslight their ex and claim that everything was their fault, even in cases where it most obviously is not.
Signs of Narcissist Discard
If you think you may be experiencing discard, there are some signs to look for.
One sign is that the narcissist will start making excuses for why they can’t see or talk to you anymore. They may give vague reasons such as needing time “to focus on themselves” or being too busy with work or other things.
The narcissist may also stop responding to your texts or calls and disappear without any explanation. In fact many narcissists resort to ghosting their victims if this is at all possible.
The impact on victims
Discard has a huge impact on victims because it often comes without warning and is extremely painful.
If you are going through narcissist discard, remember that you did nothing wrong. Even if you cannot understand the reason for the breakup, their behaviour is about them – not you. If the narcissist gets abusive, reach out for help. Talk to your friends or family members, a therapist, hotline or support group in your area.
You deserve love and happiness. It might not feel that way at the moment but ‘losing’ the narcissist is actually a positive thing. You were never going to be truly happy with them, so you are better off without them.
For Further Reading:
You might also want to check out the following posts about the different abuse tactics in the Narcissist’s toolbox:
- Abuse by Proxy
- Ambient Abuse
- Coercive Control
- Divide and Conquer
- Flying Monkeys
- Future Faking
- Love Bombing
- Narcissist Discard
- Narcissist Hoovering
- Narcissistic Triangulation
- Narcissistic Abuse
- Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome
- Narcissistic Family Roles
- Narcissistic FOG
- Narcissistic Grooming
- Narcissistic Projection
- Narcissistic Rage
- Narcissistic Smear Campaign
- Narcissistic Word Salad
- Parental Alienation
- 7 Types of Narcissistic Abuse with Practical Examples
- The 10 Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
- 13 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Abuse: How to Deal with It and Get Help
- Flying Monkeys in the World of Narcissism: What They Are and How to Deal with Them
- Gaslighting Defined – How Can You Tell If Your Partner Is Gaslighting You?
- Why Narcissists String Along their Exes and Never Cut Them Loose
- Understanding the Cycle of Emotional Abuse – The Red Flags of a Toxic Relationship
And finally, this is my story. I was the scapegoat daughter of a narcissistic father.
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