When Love Gets Mad: Profound Quotes about Anger in Relationships

Anger is a universal human experience, and our most intimate relationships are not immune to it. It’s an emotion that can either make or break the bond we share with our significant others. While it’s normal to feel angry from time to time, it’s how we manage this anger that matters. In this post, we’ll explore some profound quotes about anger in relationships from famous personalities, authors, and thinkers.

These quotes about anger in relationships serve as a gentle reminder that love is not just about the good times, but also about navigating the stormy seas of anger and misunderstanding.

quotes about anger in relationships

Quotes about Anger in Relationships

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

Ambrose Bierce

This quote by Ambrose Bierce, an acclaimed American journalist and short story writer, underscores the potential dangers of lashing out when angry.

When we are swept up in the intensity of our emotions, our judgment becomes clouded, leading us to say things that we may not truly mean, hurting the people we love and causing irreparable damage to our most important relationships.

In essence, this quote is a call for mindfulness in our communication, especially during moments of high emotional distress. It encourages us to take a step back, to breathe, and to allow ourselves the space to process our feelings before we react.

In doing so, we may find that our initial inclination to lash out in anger might fade, replaced with a more measured and thoughtful response.

angry couple fighting

“Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”


This thought-provoking quote from the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle provides a nuanced perspective on the emotion of anger. It acknowledges that anger is a common and easy-to-reach emotional state, but raises the question of whether our anger is appropriately directed and managed.

Aristotle prompts us to ask if our anger is targeted at the ‘right person’. This challenges us to reflect on whether the individual we are directing our anger towards is genuinely the source of our frustration or merely an unfortunate recipient of misplaced emotions.

Secondly, he urges us to consider the ‘degree’ of our anger, suggesting that our response should be proportionate to the situation. A minor annoyance might warrant a moment of irritation, but not a full-blown outburst.

Thirdly, Aristotle introduces the notion of timing. He suggests that there are moments when expressing anger can be constructive and moments when it can lead to further complications. Understanding when to express anger and when to hold back requires discernment and emotional intelligence.

Next, he points to the ‘purpose’ behind our anger. Are we using our anger constructively, as a catalyst for change or improvement? Or is it merely a release of pent-up frustration that serves no positive outcome?

Lastly, Aristotle emphasizes the ‘way’ we express our anger. He hints that even justified anger can be harmful if expressed in a destructive manner. It is crucial to communicate our feelings in a way that promotes understanding rather than escalating conflict.

quotes about anger in relationships

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”


This quote, which is commonly attributed to Buddha, offers a striking metaphor about the self-destructive impact of holding on to your anger.

Just as poison harms the one who consumes it, anger primarily damages the person who retains it. It can lead to a range of negative effects, from mental distress such as anxiety and depression to physical health issues like high blood pressure and heart disease.

The second part of the quote – ‘expecting the other person to die’ – underscores the irrationality of sustained anger.

We sometimes hold onto our anger in the hope that it will somehow hurt the person who has wronged us. However, the reality is that our anger often has little to no impact on the other person – our anger serves only to cause harm to ourselves, not to them.

This quote, then, is a powerful reminder to let go of our anger. It encourages us to find healthy ways to express and resolve our feelings rather than allowing them to fester within us. By doing so, we can avoid the ‘poison’ of anger and foster inner peace and wellbeing.

angry couple

“Anger, resentment and jealousy don’t change the hearts of others – they only change yours.”

Shannon L. Alder

Renowned author Shannon L. Alder echoes the message of the abovementioned quotes about anger in relationships, by pointing out that emotions such as anger, resentment, and jealousy, while often directed at others, primarily affect the individual experiencing them.

Alder suggests that these emotions have a transformative effect on us. They ‘change’ our heart, possibly making us more bitter, less trusting, or more closed off.

The negative energy we invest in these emotions can distort our perspective, affect our mental and physical health, and diminish our capacity for joy and positivity.

Instead of allowing these emotions to change our hearts for the worse, we should strive to process and release them, thereby freeing ourselves from their harmful effects and paving the way for personal growth and emotional maturity.

quotes about anger in relationships

“Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.”

English Proverb

This timeless English proverb offers a profound insight into the nature of anger and its potential consequences. It suggests that our response to a perceived wrong or injury, when influenced by anger, can often lead to greater harm than the initial offense itself.

While the ‘injury’ referred to in the proverb might cause initial pain or distress, the anger that follows can amplify this harm, leading to a cycle of negativity and damage that extends far beyond the original incident.

Our angry reaction might escalate the situation, provoking further conflict or animosity. In this way, the impact of our anger can be ‘more hurtful’ than the initial injury, causing lasting damage that may be difficult to repair.

Furthermore, the proverb also points to the internal harm that anger can cause. Dwelling on anger can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues. It can consume our thoughts and energy, preventing us from finding peace and happiness.


“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.”

Lee Iacocca

Lee Iacocca advocates for the transformation of negative emotions into positive action, proposing that we redirect our anger and energy into beneficial endeavors.

Rather than letting these negative emotions consume us, he suggests ‘keeping busy’ as a means to cope. This does not imply ignoring or suppressing our feelings. Instead, it encourages us to engage in activities that require our focus and effort, which can provide a useful distraction and mitigate the intensity of our emotional response.

More importantly, Iacocca recommends that we ‘plow our anger and energy into something positive’. This involves consciously choosing to channel our emotional energy into constructive actions. By doing so, we can transform our negative emotions into a driving force for productivity and positive change.

This approach has the dual benefit of alleviating our emotional distress and contributing to our personal growth. As we focus our energies on positive endeavors, we not only distract ourselves from our negative emotions but also create a sense of accomplishment and purpose. This can enhance our resilience, boost our self-esteem, and ultimately help us navigate through challenging times more effectively.

angry man

“Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.”

Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein, a preeminent physicist and one of the most influential thinkers of our time, provides a thought-provoking perspective on anger in this quote.

He suggests that harboring anger is a foolish act, emphasizing the importance of emotional intelligence and the ability to let go of negative emotions.

Einstein’s quote underscores the futility of holding onto anger. It implies that anger, when allowed to reside within us (‘in the bosom’), can cloud our judgment, distort our perception, and lead to irrational decisions. This is why Einstein associates it with ‘fools’—individuals who lack wisdom or discernment.

He suggests that those who allow anger to dominate their thoughts and actions are not using their intellect or reasoning capabilities to their full potential.

Moreover, Einstein’s words hint at the damaging effects of sustained anger on our mental and physical wellbeing. Studies have shown that chronic anger can lead to various health issues, including heart disease, high blood pressure, and mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety.

By allowing anger to dwell within us, we risk harming not only our relationships and social interactions but also our own health.

angry man

Concluding Reflections on these Quotes about Anger in Relationships

These insightful quotes about anger in relationships remind us of the potential destructiveness of anger. Holding onto anger can impair our judgment, strain our relationships, and harm our mental and physical wellbeing.

Yet anger is a natural human emotion, and it’s unrealistic and unhealthy to aim for its complete eradication.

What’s crucial is how we respond to anger.

When we encounter adversity or injustice, we can choose to channel our energy into constructive actions rather than letting anger consume us.

These quotes encourage us to let go of negative emotions, respond to adversity with positivity, and cultivate emotional intelligence. By heeding these insights, we can navigate our relationships with greater wisdom and compassion, fostering stronger connections and promoting personal growth.

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