If you are wondering whether or not a narcissist can be happy, it is important to first understand what exactly constitutes as narcissistic behaviour and what makes a person a narcissist.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder that is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. People with this disorder often believe that they are better than everyone else and can be quite manipulative in order to get what they want.
What is the essence of happiness?
There is no single recipe for happiness, as what makes one person happy may not have the same effect on another. However, there are some common themes which always come up when people talk about being happy.
The importance of close relationships
When asked about happiness, most people would first mention family. People who are happy tend to have close relationships and feel loved and appreciated by their family members.
When a narcissist finds a partner and starts a family, the result is often a toxic environment where the narcissist is in control. The family members learn to tiptoe around the narcissistic individual and cater to their needs and ego. This can lead to a lot of resentment and unhappiness within the family unit.
While a narcissist may have what looks like a happy family on the outside, the reality is often quite different. The narcissist will put on a façade in order to maintain their image and keep up appearances, but the underlying feeling is one of emptiness and loneliness.
Narcissists are unable to have truly loving and fulfilling relationships with their partners, and they are not able to form healthy bonds with their children. The result is often a family that is unhappy and highly dysfunctional.
A sense of belonging to a community and feeling connected to others is essential for a person to be happy.
The narcissist, by definition, is someone who is excessively self-involved and lacks empathy for others. This means that they are unlikely to feel a true sense of connection or belongingness with anyone else.
That said, narcissists desperately need attention and admiration from others. So, it is possible for a narcissist to be happy, but only in a very limited way. Their happiness is likely to be based on fleeting things like receiving attention and praise from others. They will never experience the deeper, more lasting happiness that comes from feeling connected to others and being part of a community.
A sense of purpose, and the contentment that comes with achieving goals, is another important part of happiness.
Narcissists often have a grandiose sense of self-importance and believe that they are destined for greatness. While this can lead to them achieving some level of success, it is unlikely to make them truly happy.
This is because their sense of self-worth is based on external factors like power, money, and prestige. So, even if a narcissist achieves all their goals, they will still be haunted by the fact that there are other people out there who have more money, a bigger yacht or a more expensive car. A narcissist will never know inner peace.
The importance of insight and healthy self-esteem
Happiness also requires a certain amount of self-awareness and introspection. People who are truly happy have a good understanding of who they are and what they want out of life. They are able to accept their own flaws and shortcomings, and they are comfortable being alone.
Narcissists, on the other hand, are completely self-absorbed and lack any real sense of self-awareness. They also have a hard time being alone, as they need constant validation from others.
So, while a narcissist may seem happy on the surface, they are usually quite unhappy deep down. This is because they are living in a world of their own creation, where they are the centre of attention and everyone adores them.
The truth is that the narcissist is constantly tormented by their narcissistic injury and desperate for narcissistic supply, like a vampire craving blood. They will never be truly happy until they find someone who is willing to give them the attention and admiration that they so crave. And even then, it is only a temporary fix. The narcissist will always be searching for the next best thing.
The Bottom Line – Can a narcissist be happy?
The answer to the question “can a narcissist be happy?” is not straightforward. This is because while it is possible for a narcissist to experience something that resembles happiness, this is usually based on superficial things and is not the result of a deep, lasting connection with others.
Narcissists may seem happy on the surface, but usually they are quite unhappy deep down.
If you are unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with a narcissist, do not get caught in the trap of trying to make them happy. It is an impossible task. Don’t waste your time and energy on someone who is incapable of feeling true happiness.
It is better to focus on your own happiness, and find someone who is capable of forming a healthy, lasting connection with you. Someone who will make you truly happy.
For Further Reading
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
- How to Deal with a Narcissist
- Narcissistic Abuse – How Narcissists Manipulate and Hurt their Victims
- How to Define a Narcissist: The 5 Traits You Need to Look Out For
- How Narcissistic Leaders Create Toxic Workplaces
- The Narcissist and the Enabler – a match made in hell
- The Difference Between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Traits
- Narcissistic Supply – Feeding the Narcissistic Ego
- Narcissistic Injury – The Agony of the Fragile Narcissistic Ego
- 7 Types of Narcissistic Abuse with Practical Examples
- The 10 Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
- 8 Ways Narcissists Get Worse with Age
- Can a Narcissist feel Empathy? The Answer May Surprise You
- The Devious Traits of the Female Narcissist – What to Look Out For
- Narcissist Meme Gallery
- How to Tell If You’re a Narcissist
- Does a narcissist ever truly regret hurting people?
- Can Narcissists Change? The Truth About Personality Disorders and How to Treat Them
- Can a Narcissist Ever Be Happy? Appearances May Be Deceptive
- Can a Narcissist Be Nice? The Myth of the Generous Narcissist
- Can the agony of the narcissistic injury ever be healed?
- What is the Root Cause of Narcissism?
- What’s a Narcissist? Characteristics of a Narcissist and How to Spot Them
- NPD – The Warning Signs, Impact and Treatment Options for this Personality Disorder
- Narcissist vs Sociopath – What is the Difference and Which is Worse?
- The Five Types of Narcissist – Which One Are You Dealing With?
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Women – The Warning Signs You Need to Know
- What is an Enabler? A Critical Asset for the Narcissist
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) – Symptoms, Risk Factors and Treatment
- Is Narcissism a Mental Illness? Getting to Grips with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- Narcissist – Covert – How to Recognize and Deal with a Covert Narcissist
- The Traits of a Covert Narcissist: What You Need to Know
- The Corrosive Impact of Narcissism in Relationships – Is Your Partner a Narcissist?