Love is supposed to be grand, beautiful, and selfless. However, what happens when that love turns into something toxic, obsessive, and self-serving? Narcissistic love can be nothing short of destructive. It is a type of love that is anchored on manipulation, control, and an insatiable need for attention. Here is a playlist of songs that capture the dark side of narcissists and love.
Listening to these songs can serve as a form of catharsis, allowing the listener to commiserate with others who have gone through similar experiences. It’s an opportunity to feel less alone and to understand that others have been through similar situations and have come out the other side. The words and melodies can evoke all kinds of emotions – from sadness and anger to hope and healing.
Songs about Narcissists – “You’re so vain” by Carly Simon
Carly Simon’s classic hit “You’re So Vain” is widely considered to be one of the quintessential songs about a narcissistic partner. The lyrics of the song paint a picture of a person who is completely taken with themselves, oblivious to the feelings of those around them, and focused solely on their own gratification.
The song has inspired numerous interpretations and discussions over the years. Some have speculated that it is about a particular individual, such as Warren Beatty or Mick Jagger, while others have interpreted the lyrics more broadly as a comment on the excesses of the self-obsessed culture of the 1970s.
Regardless of the specifics, the song itself captures the mood and tone of a relationship with a narcissistic partner. It’s hard not to be drawn in by the catchy melody and clever lyrics, but make no mistake – this is a song about someone who is hopelessly self-absorbed.
Throughout the song, Carly Simon describes the arrogance and vanity of the person in question. From their “apricot scarf” to their “yacht,” everything about this person screams privilege and entitlement. They are so caught up in their own self-importance that they don’t seem to realize how their behaviour is affecting those around them.
The song’s chorus is a perfect encapsulation of this theme:
“You’re so vain, I bet you think this song is about you.”
It’s a wry, sarcastic comment that perfectly captures the idea of someone who is so far gone in their own self-worship that they can’t see the world around them. In this way, the song is not just about a narcissistic partner, but about the broader concept of self-obsession itself.
“Blank Space” by Taylor Swift
Blank Space” is a song from Taylor Swift’s fifth studio album, “1989,” that has become an anthem for anyone who has ever been in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic partner. The song’s lyrics portray a woman who has become disillusioned with the idea of being in love and has become resigned to the fact that her current lover is more than likely not going to be any different than her past experiences.
With its upbeat tempo and catchy pop sound, the song juxtaposes its seemingly upbeat tone with lyrics that are tinged with sarcasm and wit. Swift’s lyrics provide commentary on the insidious manipulation and emotional abuse that can go on in a relationship with a narcissistic partner. She sings about how she has seen through the “‘nice to meet you, where you been’ line” and now knows exactly what to expect.
Throughout the song, Swift takes aim at the way in which the media often portrays women as being overly emotional and clingy in relationships, making fun of those stereotypes with lines like, “Got a long list of ex-lovers, they’ll tell you I’m insane.” The lyrics highlight how narcissistic partners often seek to control their partners and keep them in a state of fear and uncertainty, with Swift singing, “I can make the bad guys good for a weekend.
“Got a long list of ex-lovers, they’ll tell you I’m insane.”
The song’s title itself is telling, as “Blank Space,” refers to the void left behind by a narcissistic partner, who is never fully present except when they want something from their partner. The song’s ironic title paired with the upbeat tempo and catchy pop sound create a complex and nuanced portrayal of what it’s like to be in a relationship with a narcissistic partner.
Songs about Narcissists – “Hard Feelings/Loveless” by Lorde
Hard Feelings/Loveless” is a song by Lorde from her album “Melodrama.” The song captures the dualities of love: the all-consuming joy of falling for someone alongside the manipulative and selfish behavior that can emerge in relationships, particularly when one partner is narcissistic.
Lorde’s lyrics are deeply personal and raw, as she sings about the ups and downs of a tumultuous love affair. She reflects on her own emotions, the gambles she took, and how things went south fast, asking herself, “What is this tape? An explanation, an apology?”
With a combination of upbeat and melancholy music, “Hard Feelings/Loveless” captures the push and pull of a toxic relationship. The song communicates the sense of confusion, exhilaration, obsession, and pain that can define these kinds of partnerships.
Songs about Narcissists – “Love Yourself” by Justin Bieber
“Love Yourself” by Justin Bieber is a song about a breakup and a call to self-love and self-worth. In the song, Bieber encourages his listeners to end unhealthy relationships and to focus instead on their own well-being.
With a simple guitar riff and Bieber’s smooth vocals, the song’s melody is stripped down and mellow, allowing the lyrics to take center stage. Bieber sings about how his ex-partner is always putting him down and how he’s been taken for granted.
As the song continues, Bieber delivers the punchline with self-love and empowerment as its centrepiece. “My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone/And I never like to admit that I was wrong/And I’ve been so caught up in my job, didn’t see what’s going on/But now I know, I’m better sleeping on my own,” he sings, letting his listeners know that it’s better to be alone than to be in a relationship with someone who does not value them.
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Songs about Narcissists – “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell
Tainted Love” is a classic track by Soft Cell that explores the toxicity that can creep into a relationship and turn it sour. The song’s lyrics focus on the idea that sometimes love can be a deceptive force, luring individuals in with the promise of happiness before revealing its darker side.
With its pulsing electronic beat and catchy chorus, “Tainted Love” is a song that is instantly recognizable. However, its lyrics are often overlooked, despite their deep exploration of the darker side of human relationships. The song communicates the feeling of hurt and betrayal that can arise when love turns poisonous.
Soft Cell sings about how their love has become “tainted” and how they have reached the point of no return. The song’s intense and driving beat mirrors the intense nature of a relationship that has gone bad and can be seen as a metaphor for the suffocating nature of toxicity.
The idea that love can turn poisonous is something that is universally recognizable, but it is something that is often left unspoken. “Tainted Love” brings this idea out into the open, exploring the difficult emotions that arise when love becomes something that is no longer fulfilling or healthy.
Songs about Narcissists – “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood
“Before He Cheats” is a popular country song released in 2005 by Carrie Underwood. The song is known for its catchy tune and memorable lyrics that take you on a journey of revenge. The narrative of the song centers on a woman who is cheated on by her partner, and in response, decides to take matters into her own hands. Rather than confronting her partner, she takes a baseball bat to his car, causing significant damage.
Underwood’s lyrics convey the woman’s anger and frustration at being deceived by someone she trusted. She sings about the memories she has of her unfaithful partner, which are now tainted and ruined by his actions. The chorus of the song is especially memorable, with the repetitive lyrics “I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats, I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires.”
Despite the song’s somewhat violent message, it has become a classic anthem for women who have been wronged by their partners. The song’s upbeat melody is juxtaposed against the vengeful lyrics, creating a unique listening experience that has resonated with many fans over the years.
Final Thoughts
Narcissism in love can be devastating for the partner. The manipulative and often abusive behavior of a narcissist can leave a trail of emotional destruction in its wake, making healing and moving forward seem almost impossible. However, music can often help us navigate the complexities of heartbreak, especially when it comes to dealing with narcissistic love.
This playlist offers a selection of songs that explores the darker side of love and relationships. Some of the songs on this playlist are specifically about narcissistic love. Others are more generally about heartbreak and betrayal. Regardless of their focus, each of these songs offers a unique perspective on the feelings of pain, loss, and betrayal that can emerge from a narcissistic relationship.
