The Invisible Cage: Understanding Learned Helplessness

Last updated on October 23rd, 2024

When I was a teenager I was angry with my mother. I could not understand why she was so meek, so helpless. I wanted her to stand up to my father, or even better, to run away and take me with her. We could live a normal life, far away from the insanity of my father and my brother.

However no matter how hard I tried, she simply could not see her way out of the horror story our life had become. I could not understand it.

“You could get a job,” I told her.

“I could get one too. We could rent a small apartment and we would be safe”.

However she was frozen – she had lost hope and was resigned that our current situation was our fate and that there was nothing we could do about it.

Many years later I finally understood. She was a victim of learned helplessness – conditioned by her my abusive narcissistic father to believe she had no means of escape.

The Discovery of the Psychological Phenomenon of Learned Helplessness

Learned helplessness, a psychological concept that describes a state where individuals believe they have no control over the situations in their life and thus stop trying to improve or change them, was discovered by American psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven F. Maier.

Their groundbreaking discovery occurred in 1967 during a series of animal behavior experiments.

Seligman and Maier found that when animals are repeatedly subjected to an adverse stimulus which they cannot escape, they eventually stop trying to avoid the stimulus and behave as if they are utterly helpless to change their situation, even when opportunities for escape are presented.

Seligman and Maier termed their discovery “learned helplessness”.

Their findings revolutionized the understanding of behavior and motivation, becoming a staple of introductory psychology textbooks and forming the basis of many therapeutic strategies in clinical psychology today.

Learned Helplessness in Animals

The discovery of Learned Helplessness occurred in the process of a series of experiments that Seligman was conducting on dogs, exploring how they reacted to irritating electric shocks.

These were not very strong and did not injure the dogs, but they were unpleasant.

Phase 1 of the experiment.

The first group of dogs were put in a cage where they could stop the shocks by pressing on a button.

They quickly discovered this and started pawing the button regularly to stop the shocks.

After that the second group of dogs were put in the cage, but the button was deactivated.

The poor dogs ran around the cage trying to get away from the irritating shocks, but they soon learned there was no way of escape.

Phase 2 of the experiment

Seligman moved the dogs to a different type of enclosure. The dogs were put on one side, where there got the small shocks.

Dogs from the first group, who had found the button, immediately ran off and discovered that the other half of the enclosure was safe.

Dogs from the second group, however, sat down and were shocked over and over again.

They did not even try to get away.

They just accepted the electric shocks passively.

This response is what led Seligman to develop his theory of learned helplessness.

Animals at the Circus

This type of learned behaviour can be seen in many other situations.

One well-known example relates to circus elephants.

When elephants are young they are not very strong. In order to restrain them, their trainers simply tie them to a stake in the ground.

Initially the baby elephant tries to pull the stake out of the ground but quickly learns that it is not strong enough to do so.

As the elephant grows and becomes much stronger, it is able to pull the stake out of the ground and get away.

However by then it is totally conditioned to believe that it is not strong enough, so it does not even try.

Learned Helplessness in Victims of Abuse

For victims of abuse, the experience of learned helplessness can be nothing short of soul-crushing.

The chain of repeated episodes – physical, emotional, or sexual abuse – forges a debilitating belief of powerlessness within them.

This phenomenon is the result of a carefully orchestrated series of manipulations by the abuser, designed to entrench the victim in a state of perceived helplessness.

Abusers employ a myriad of tactics to manipulate their victims into such a state.

1. Gaslighting

One common method is gaslighting, a psychological manipulation technique where the abuser makes the victim question their perception of reality.

For instance, an abuser might deny that specific incidents of abuse ever occurred or accuse the victim of exaggerating.

Over time, this can lead the victim to doubt their memory and sanity, making it harder for them to recognize the abuse and seek help.

2. Isolation

Another strategy is isolation, where the abuser cuts the victim off from their support network of friends and family.

This isolation can be physical, such as moving the victim to a location away from their loved ones, or emotional, where the abuser convinces the victim that their loved ones are untrustworthy or don’t have their best interests at heart.

When a person is alone and unsupported, they feel like they have nowhere to turn, reinforcing the belief that they are trapped in their situation.

3. Threats and Intimidation

Abusers also often instill fear in their victims through threats and intimidation.

They might threaten physical harm, either against the victim or their loved ones, if the victim tries to leave or disclose the abuse.

This fear can keep the victim trapped in the abusive situation, too afraid to attempt escape.

4. Monopolization of Perception

Monopolization of perception is yet another tactic, where the abuser controls the victim’s interpretation of their world.

By dictating what is right or wrong, the abuser shapes the victim’s beliefs and attitudes, making them more pliable and less likely to resist or escape the abuse.

The Impact of the Abuser’s Tactics

Over time, the victim internalizes the abuser’s message that it is impossible to escape the abuse, leading to a state of learned helplessness.

This belief becomes a constant refrain in their negative self talk, draining them of any hope of escape.

Once the conditioning takes root, the victim is no longer able to assess the situation rationally. If a friend (or daughter!) tells them that they can break free, they simply do not believe them.

You might as well be telling them that they can get a rocket and go live on the moon. It is therefore very important that if someone you love is stuck in this type of situation, you approach them with care.

Don’t get angry, like I did.

Anger will not achieve anything.

You could start by encouraging them to go to therapy.

Strategies like assertiveness training, gradual exposure, and securing legal assistance can be incredibly effective in overcoming learned helplessness.

It’s about reclaiming personal power, one step at a time, and learning to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and confidence.

Patience and compassion play a crucial role in this journey, because healing doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s normal to experience setbacks along the way.

Final Thoughts

Learned helplessness presents a powerful explanation for why individuals sometimes feel trapped in their circumstances, unable to effect meaningful change.

While learned helplessness can have debilitating effects, it’s important to remember that it’s not a life sentence.

The very nature of this condition, being “learned,” suggests that it can be unlearned. With the right tools and support, individuals can break free from the cycle of helplessness and regain control over their lives.

In the end, the journey towards overcoming learned helplessness is not just about regaining control over one’s life. It’s about rediscovering one’s worth, redefining one’s identity, and embracing the freedom and possibilities that lie ahead.

Carla Corelli

Carla Corelli, a writer, advocate, and survivor of narcissistic abuse, draws from her own upbringing with a narcissistic father to shed light on psychological trauma. Fueled by her personal journey, she pursued a degree in psychology and has dedicated herself to shedding light on the complexities of narcissistic abuse.
With over fifteen years of experience in writing and advocating for survivors, Carla is deeply committed to providing support, education, and empowerment to those who have endured similar trauma. Through her articles, Carla aims to offer a compassionate space for healing and growth, while advocating for greater awareness and understanding of narcissistic abuse.
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