How to go Low Contact with a Narcissist

Dealing with a narcissist can be incredibly exhausting and draining. The constant manipulation, lack of empathy, and relentless self-centered behavior can take a significant toll on your emotional well-being. In such a situation it makes sense to consider the possibility of going low contact with the narcissist in order to protect your mental health.

Going low contact means deliberately reducing the amount of interaction and communication you have with the narcissist. This strategy is employed to safeguard your emotional well-being and regain control over your life. Low contact is not the same as no contact; it allows limited interactions, but these are kept to a minimum and are strictly monitored and managed.

The following are the main things to consider when reducing contact with a narcissist:

  1. Avoid Their Usual Hangouts
  2. Set Clear Boundaries
  3. Limit Electronic Communication
  4. Block on Social Media
  5. Inform Trusted Friends and Family
Going low contact means deliberately reducing the amount of interaction and communication you have with the narcissist.

Avoid Their Usual Hangouts

Implementing a low-contact strategy means avoiding places where the narcissist usually goes. To reduce unwanted interactions, start by identifying their common spots like certain cafes, gyms, parks, or social clubs.

Adjust your schedule to visit these places at different times or switch to other locations. For example, go to a different gym or take a different route for your morning jog.

Set Clear Boundaries

Identifying your boundaries is the first essential step in protecting yourself from a narcissist’s influence. Reflect on past interactions that made you uncomfortable or drained your energy to pinpoint behaviors you can’t tolerate.

Once you understand your limits, clearly and assertively communicate them to the narcissist. This could involve setting rules on how often you communicate, restricting certain topics, or stating how you expect to be treated.

Enforcing these boundaries is just as important. Consistently uphold them by following through with consequences if they are crossed. This might mean reducing contact or taking breaks from communication. Remember, maintaining your boundaries requires firmness and persistence.

Limit Electronic Communication

Limiting electronic communication is crucial when implementing a low contact strategy with a narcissist. Electronic interactions provide the narcissist with opportunities to manipulate, control, and invade your personal space.

By controlling the volume and nature of these exchanges, you can significantly reduce their influence over you and protect your emotional health.

Use Filters and Block Features: Utilize the filtering and blocking options provided by most email systems and messaging apps. This ensures that only essential messages reach you, minimizing the narcissist’s ability to bombard you with manipulative or hurtful communication.

Schedule Specific Times for Responses: Designate specific times during the day to check and respond to messages. This helps you avoid the constant stress and anxiety of being on alert for their communication. Creating this structure also provides you with mental breaks and reduces the intrusion on your daily life.

Maintain Professional Language: When you must communicate electronically, keep your language formal and to the point. Avoid sharing personal information or engaging in emotional conversations. This reduces the chances of the narcissist exploiting your words or twisting them to suit their agenda.

Use Alternative Communication Methods: If necessary, use alternative communication methods that offer more control, such as work emails or messaging platforms that allow you to mute conversations. This approach ensures that you only engage when absolutely necessary and through channels where you maintain higher control.


Controlling Contact on Social Media

Social media can be a significant source of stress when dealing with a narcissist. They will try to use these platforms to monitor your activities, engage in manipulative interactions, or gather information to exploit.

The following are some strategies to create a safer, more controlled social media environment, protecting your emotional well-being from the narcissist’s influence.

Adjust Privacy Settings: Begin by tightening the privacy settings on your social media accounts. Limit who can see your posts, stories, and personal information. Make sure only trusted friends and family members have access to your profile and activities.

Unfriend and Unfollow: Where possible, consider unfriending or unfollowing the narcissist to curtail their access to your social media feed. This will prevent them from seeing your updates and interacting with your posts. If unfriending is not an option due to shared social circles, such as in professional contexts, make use of features to limit their visibility of your posts.

Block or Mute: Utilize the block or mute functions on social media platforms to prevent the narcissist from contacting or viewing your content. Blocking ensures they can’t find you or send messages, while muting stops their updates from appearing in your feed, helping you to avoid unnecessary stress.

Be Mindful of Shared Connections: Pay attention to mutual contacts who may share your information with the narcissist. Inform trusted friends and family about your situation and request they refrain from discussing you or sharing details about your life with the narcissist.

Avoid Posting Personal Information: Refrain from sharing sensitive or personal information that the narcissist could exploit. Keep your posts general and avoid discussing your emotions, plans, or relationships in detail. By maintaining a neutral online presence, you reduce the chances of giving the narcissist any material to use against you.

Report Harassment: If the narcissist engages in online harassment or bullying, make use of the reporting features on social media platforms. Document any abusive interactions and report them to the platform administrators. This not only helps protect you but also sets a boundary on acceptable behavior.

social media

Inform Trusted Friends and Family

It’s important to communicate clearly and honestly with close friends and family about your decision to go low contact. Explain the negative impact the narcissist has had on your well-being and why maintaining distance is necessary for your mental health.

By providing them with this context, they will be better equipped to empathize with your situation, offer the support you need, and avoid sharing information about you with the narcissist.

Final Thoughts on Going Low Contact with a Narcissist

Going low contact with a narcissist is undoubtedly a challenging journey, but it is a crucial step toward reclaiming your emotional well-being and autonomy. The aim is to foster a healthier environment where you can thrive without constant manipulation and toxicity.

Stay consistent, patient, and steadfast in your decision, and gradually, you will experience the peace and clarity that comes with protecting your mental health from the narcissist’s disruptive presence.

Sharing is caring!

5 thoughts on “How to go Low Contact with a Narcissist”

  1. Hi Carla, Narcissists are so notoriously creative in their methods, it’s always useful for victims of this kind of abuse to have other strategies in mind. Thanks for a helpful article! Joan

  2. I made the mistake of feeling badly for the way I was ignoring this certain person. There was a family get together and I just wanted to have a day where I could be free with everyone and not have to feel so guarded. Boy, did it not take long for this person to take advantage of the situation and pay me back for a year of indifference towards them. That was over a year ago and I’m still paying for that misplaced guilt. These narcissists have absolutely no humanity.

    • Don’t ever feel bad about being a good person Erica. It was kind of you to offer this person an olive branch – and the fact that they abused the situation instead of taking the opportunity to restore the relationship is on them not on you. However, now that you know how manipulative they are, I would suggest you steer clear of them in future. You don’t deserve, or need, this unnecessary aggravation in your life.
      Sending you a hug.


Leave a comment