Narcissism is a personality disorder which manifests as an increased sense of self-importance and grandiosity, a need for admiration, and lack of empathy. These traits can have a significant impact on the quality of relationships in the narcissist’s life, leading to difficulties with intimacy and establishing trust.
Experiencing rejection can be particularly devastating for narcissists, as it reinforces their negative self-image and lead to feelings of betrayal or abandonment.
Despite their tendency to appear arrogant and entitled, a narcissist’s ego is actually quite fragile.
Rejection can be extremely difficult for them to endure as it brings up all of the insecurities they have worked hard to suppress.
When someone rejects them, they may become overwhelmed with fear and panic that their true nature might be exposed, leading them to act in an erratic manner.
In this article, we’ll explore how a narcissist is likely to handle rejection and no contact.
Understanding No Contact: A Protective Strategy Against Narcissists
No contact is a powerful strategy often employed by individuals who have experienced a toxic relationship with a narcissist.
It involves consciously deciding to cut off all forms of communication and interaction with the narcissist, thereby establishing a clear boundary for self-protection.
Complete Disengagement
The no contact rule implies a total disconnection from the narcissist.
This means not just physically avoiding them, but also blocking all avenues of digital communication.
This includes social media platforms, emails, text messages, and phone calls.
The goal is to eliminate any potential triggers that could lead to emotional distress or manipulation.
Avoidance of Shared Spaces
If you share common spaces with the narcissist, such as work, school, or community groups, the no contact rule may require some strategic planning.
This might involve changing your routine, avoiding certain locations, or even seeking a transfer to a different department or location if possible.
Indirect Contact
No contact also extends to indirect communication.
This means avoiding asking about the narcissist through mutual contacts or checking up on them through third-party sources.
The aim is to create a buffer zone that shields you from any form of contact, direct or indirect.
Emotional Disengagement
No contact is not just about physical or digital disconnection – it’s also about emotional disengagement.
This involves letting go of any residual feelings or hopes related to the narcissist. It may be challenging, but it’s a crucial step in healing and moving forward.
Legal Considerations
In some cases, no contact may involve legal measures such as restraining orders or custody agreements.
If the narcissist poses a threat to your safety, it’s essential to consult with a legal professional to explore your options.
It’s important to note that implementing the no contact rule can be difficult, especially if you’ve been in a long-term relationship with the narcissist.
However, it’s often a necessary step towards recovery.
It allows you to regain control over your life, heal from the emotional trauma, and build a healthier future.
Remember, it’s not about punishing the narcissist, but protecting yourself.
A Narcissist Will Handle Rejection and No Contact With Narcissistic Rage
When a narcissist faces rejection, they often become overwhelmed by an intense and uncontrollable emotion known as narcissistic rage.
This can manifest in various forms such as verbal outbursts, inappropriate anger, hurtful accusations, and passive-aggressive behaviors.
Narcissistic rage is driven by the fear of abandonment and frustration at not being able to control or manipulate the situation.
The goal of this type of behaviour is usually to make the other person feel guilty for not meeting their expectations, and intimidated by the reaction of the narcissist.
The Narcissist Will Handle Rejection and No Contact By Being Overwhelmed With Shame
Beneath the narcissist’s aura of grandiosity and superiority lies a massive inferiority complex.
When they experience rejection, it can feel like their worst nightmare come true- that people will finally see through their act and discover the truth about who they really are.
This can lead to a cascade of emotions such as shame, anger, and fear that can push them into defensive posturing in order to protect themselves.
In this state, they may lash out in an attempt to regain some control over the situation, even though this often has the opposite effect.
A Narcissist Will Handle Rejection and No Contact With Projection
Sometimes it is simply impossible for the narcissist to face the fact that someone has rejected them.
So to save face, both with themselves and in the eyes of others, they project their own feelings onto the other person and convince themselves that they are the ones who did the rejecting.
They may even fabricate stories in an attempt to make their version of events appear more plausible, which of course does not truly achieve anything, except perhaps soothe their ego.
A Narcissist Will Handle Rejection and No Contact By Unleashing the Flying Monkeys
The narcissist often has a pack of ‘flying monkeys‘ at their disposal that they can unleash to attack the person who had the temerity to reject them.
This group of people may be made up of family, friends, colleagues, or even strangers who have been fed false information by the narcissist in order to discredit their target.
The flying monkeys set to work, spreading false rumours or gossip about the target, publicly embarrassing them through social media or other digital platforms, sabotaging the target’s work or relationships and possibly even threatening physical harm.
A Narcissist Will Handle Rejection and No Contact By Resorting to Self-Destructive Behaviors
Narcissists can engage in a range of self-destructive behaviors when they’re faced with rejection.
Examples of such behaviors include drinking and substance abuse, compulsive spending, gambling or reckless driving.
In the end, all these behaviors are attempts by the narcissist to cope with and mask their feelings of shame and insecurity.
They behave this way for two reasons.
The first is to self-medicate and forget the feelings of shame they experienced upon being rejected.
The second is to try and guilt the person who has rejected them, hoping that it will change their mind.
It is important to be aware of these behaviors and remember why you are enforcing boundaries by staying away from the narcissist.
How Can You Protect Yourself After Rejecting a Narcissist?
Rejecting a narcissist is not easy, and taking steps to protect yourself afterwards is essential.
Here are some tips.
Set and Maintain Clear Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries with a narcissist is crucial in protecting yourself.
When setting boundaries, make sure they are specific and realistic, and state them calmly but firmly.
Once you have established your boundaries, take steps to ensure that they are respected by being consistent and being willing to stand up for yourself if the narcissist tries to violate those boundaries.
It’s important not to waver or hesitate when dealing with a narcissist, as this can give them an opportunity to take advantage of you.
Take Time for Yourself
Taking time for yourself to process your emotions after rejecting a narcissist is essential.
Allow yourself the opportunity to heal and cope with what has happened by giving yourself space and taking part in activities that make you feel relaxed and supported.
Consider seeking therapy to address any lingering feelings of fear, trauma or even guilt. It can also be helpful to reach out to loved ones for support and comfort, as this will help you build resilience in the face of adversity.
Taking the time to care for yourself emotionally will help you move on from the experience in a healthier way.
Maintain No Contact
Going no contact with a narcissist can be challenging but it is essential for your own wellbeing.
To do this, you must be clear and honest with yourself about wanting to break ties with the narcissist, then communicate this to them in a compassionate yet firm manner.
Block them on your social media and other channels so they cannot contact you again.
Also remember the flying monkeys, so if you see any strange activities on your pages, block them too.
Whilst it’s good to have some empathy for the narcissist, remember that ultimately your wellbeing should always come first.
Document Interactions
It’s important to document any interactions with a narcissist and their flying monkeys, as these may become relevant later.
Record the date, time and nature of each conversation, as well as copies of emails, texts or other communication that has been exchanged.
Additionally, it might be wise to take screen shots of social media conversations if possible, as this can provide useful evidence in future.
Recording your interactions can be valuable should you ever need to seek legal assistance for harassment or any other form of abuse.
Final Thoughts
Rejection and no contact can be extremely difficult for a narcissist to handle.
They may initially lash out in anger and disbelief, trying to manipulate you back into their lives.
However, once they realise that your mind is made up and that it’s not possible to change your decision, they may resort to more subtle tactics like guilt-tripping or spreading lies about you.
If this happens, remember that these are only attempts at controlling you and keeping power over you, so don’t give in!
No matter how hard it is, going no contact with a narcissist and refusing to have anything to do with them is ultimately the best thing for your own wellbeing.
Frequently Asked Questions About How A Narcissist Will Handle Rejection and No Contact
Narcissists often respond negatively to rejection or no contact because they thrive on the attention and validation of others. They may become angry, try to guilt-trip you, or attempt to manipulate you into re-establishing contact. In some cases, they may act indifferent or dismissive to protect their ego.
Yes, many narcissists will try to re-establish contact after a period of no contact. This is often referred to as “hoovering,” where they use various tactics to pull you back into the relationship.
Narcissists often move on quickly as a means to maintain their self-image and to avoid dealing with the rejection. This can be hurtful, but it’s important to remember that this behavior reflects their inability to form deep, meaningful relationships.
While change is possible for anyone, it requires a great deal of self-awareness and commitment to therapy. Narcissists, by definition, lack this self-awareness and are unlikely to seek help unless they believe it serves their interests.
This depends on your specific situation. In some cases, it may be beneficial to clearly state your boundaries. However, in other situations, especially where there is potential for violence or further manipulation, it might be safer to quietly withdraw.
Ideally, no contact should be maintained indefinitely. This allows you to heal and move forward without the risk of further emotional harm. However, this may not be possible in all situations, especially when children or legal matters are involved. It’s best to consult with a mental health professional to determine the best course of action.
Feelings of guilt or worry are common after initiating no contact. Remember, your decision to go no contact is about protecting your mental and emotional health. Seeking support from a therapist or a support group can provide validation and help manage these feelings.
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