Narcissists have a tendency to exploit and manipulate those around them, including their own family members. While many people’s interactions with their family can be a source of love and support, for narcissists, it’s often just another opportunity to feed their own ego. This is particularly true when it comes to their relationship with their mothers. Narcissists often treat their mom with the same manipulative and self-centered behavior they exhibit towards others.
In this article, we’ll explore as to how narcissists treat their mom and the harmful impact it can have on those involved.
Narcissists and Their Mothers
It’s important to note that not all narcissists act the same way, and their treatment of their mothers can vary widely. However, there are a few common themes that may emerge in these relationships.
How Narcissists Treat their Mom – Unrealistic Expectations and Constant Criticism
Narcissists are very demanding and entitled. As a result they commonly set unrealistic expectations for the people around them, including their mothers. The narcissist will expect his mom to be available at all times of the day, paying constant attention to him and showering him with endless affection.
Even the most minor of lapses on their mothers’ part can trigger a torrent of criticism and anger from the narcissist. This unrelenting stream of negativity inevitably wears the narcissist’s mother down, ultimately affecting her self-worth and mental health. Being constantly picked apart, scrutinized, and undermined by their own child leaves them feeling anxious, depressed, and emotionally drained.
How Narcissists Treat their Mom – Blaming and Gaslighting
Narcissists invariably refuse to take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they resort to shifting the blame onto others when things go wrong. The narcissist will not hesitate to point the finger of blame at their mother, even when the poor woman had nothing to do with the situation.
Additionally, narcissists are likely to engage in gaslighting, a manipulation technique where they plant seeds of doubt in their mother’s mind, causing her to question her perception of the world around her. Gradually a narcissist’s mother starts to believe that she is going insane, making them feel powerless and vulnerable.
How Narcissists Treat their Mom – Emotional Blackmail
Narcissists can be quite persuasive when it comes to getting their way. They often use subtle forms of emotional blackmail or guilt-tripping to manipulate their mothers into fulfilling their needs and wants, regardless of how unreasonable they may be. In extreme cases they will also resort to bullying and coercion to get what they want.
For instance, they may threaten to cut off contact with their mother if she does not comply with their demands, or use their children as leverage, threatening to limit or deny access to the grandchildren if their mother doesn’t behave as they want her to.
How Narcissists Treat their Mom – Controlling Behavior
Narcissists have a strong desire for control and dominance, often seeking to exert power and leverage over those around them. Unfortunately, this includes their own mothers, whom they may seek to control in various ways.
The narcissist may try to take over their mother’s finances, making decisions about her investments or how she spends her money. They could also try to control how she spends her time, dictating what activities she can and cannot engage in or who she can spend time with.
How Narcissists Treat their Mom – Lack of Empathy
The hallmark of narcissistic personality disorder is the person’s inability to empathize with others. Narcissists do not understand, or do not care, about the feelings or experiences of those around them. This lack of empathy can be particularly harmful to their relationship with their mother, leaving her feeling unheard and invalidated, as if her experiences and feelings never matter.
The lack of empathy displayed by a narcissist can have a profoundly distressing effect on their mother. Feeling emotionally disconnected and unsupported by one’s child can be extremely painful. As a result these mother experience feelings of abandonment and isolation, further exacerbating any other mental health issues they may be dealing with.
How Narcissists Treat their Mom – Withholding Affection
Narcissists are often cold or distant, failing to demonstrate warmth or love towards their mother in a way that feels authentic.
Rather than expressing love and affection towards their mother on a consistent basis, narcissists may only show love when it serves their own needs. They may use expressions of affection as a means of manipulation, for instance, to gain access to their mother’s resources, to extract her emotional support, or to curry favor when they need something from her.
How Narcissists Treat their Mom – Physical abuse
It is unfortunately not uncommon for narcissists to use physical violence against their own mother. Narcissists are prone to explosive outbursts of anger and aggression, especially when their sense of control or superiority is challenged.
In the case of maternal relationships, narcissists may feel threatened if their mother shows love or attention towards others, resulting in violent or abusive behavior.
How to Protect Yourself from Your Narcissist Child
Dealing with a narcissistic child can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience for any mother. Whether they are exhibiting manipulative behavior or verbal or physical aggression, it is important to remember that you have the right to protect yourself and establish healthy boundaries.
The following are some practical tips on how you can safeguard yourself and maintain your peace of mind.
It is crucial to set healthy boundaries with your narcissistic child to prevent them from pushing you around. Make your expectations clear and stand your ground so that they cannot easily manipulate you or take advantage of you.
Avoid enabling your child’s narcissistic behavior by refusing to support their negative actions, such as making demands, throwing tantrums, or engaging in abusive behavior. Refusing to provide unconditional support is a powerful way to show them that you will not tolerate their negative actions.
Seek professional help
If you are struggling to cope with your child’s behavior, seek professional help, such as counseling or therapy. A trained professional can support you, teach you coping mechanisms, and offer a safe place to talk about what you’re going through.
Surround yourself with supportive people
It is important to surround yourself with people who support and validate you. Being around people who understand your struggles and empathize with your struggles can help you feel less isolated, more confident, and more empowered.
Keep a record of any dramatic incidents
It is best to document any incidents in which your narcissistic child displays violence, aggression, or abuse. This can serve as important evidence in any kind of legal proceedings or emergency situations and can help you in confronting them about their behavior.
Consider legal action
In extreme cases, you may need to consider legal action to protect yourself from your narcissistic child. This can include filing a restraining order, getting a lawyer to help establish healthy communication, or even pressing charges for abusive behavior.
Focus on your own self-care
Last but not least, remember to take good care of yourself. Do things that make you happy, relieve stress, and bring joy into your life. This can include hobbies, exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. It is essential to prioritize your well-being and happiness over anything else.
Final Thoughts on How Narcissists Treat Their Mom
Mothers are meant to provide their children with unconditional love and support. However, it is important to remember that this does not mean that they should have to endure the psychological and physical abuse that narcissistic children may inflict upon them.
By setting healthy boundaries, seeking professional help, and prioritizing self-care, you can regain your sense of agency and find peace of mind while navigating a complex and challenging relationship with a narcissistic child.