Narcissistic Abuse Quiz – 10 Telltale Signs You’re Dealing with a Narcissist

1. Emotional Abuse

Does the person in question often belittle, minimize, or dismisses your emotions?

Demeaning your feelings might look like mocking you when you’re upset, telling you that you’re overreacting, or outright stating that your feelings are wrong or unimportant.

Disregarding your feelings, on the other hand, might involve ignoring your emotional needs, not listening when you express your emotions, or seeming uninterested or annoyed when you are upset.

Both of these behaviors can be signs of narcissistic abuse, as they reflect a lack of empathy and a focus on the narcissist’s own needs and feelings over yours.

Does the person frequently demean or disregard your feelings?

2. Self-Centred Behavior and Low Empathy

When someone always puts their needs first, they will disregard your needs, desires, or feelings, or make decisions without considering how they might affect you. They will also expect you to prioritize their needs over your own, and become upset or angry if you don’t.

A lack of empathy, on the other hand, involves a failure to understand or share the feelings of others. Someone who lacks empathy might dismiss others’ emotions, show indifference when others are upset, or struggle to understand why others feel the way they do.

Do they always put their needs first and show little to no empathy for others?

3. Manipulative Behaviors

Manipulation can take many forms, but it generally involves dishonesty, deceit, or misrepresentation.

A manipulative person might twist facts or omit information to make things seem different from how they really are. They might use guilt, pressure, or threats to influence your actions, decisions, or feelings. They might also play the victim or deflect blame to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

For example, if you’re discussing an issue in your relationship, they might turn the tables and accuse you of the same problem, distracting from the original issue and making you defend yourself instead. Or, they might exaggerate their needs or problems to get your sympathy and help, even when it’s not warranted.

Have you noticed them manipulating situations to their advantage?

4. Belittling and Undermining

Belittling or undermining someone can take many forms. It might involve making disparaging comments about your abilities, accomplishments, or character. They might mock or ridicule you, either subtly or overtly. They might also question or dismiss your thoughts, opinions, or feelings, making you feel as though you’re not worthy of respect or consideration.

When this behavior happens in front of others, it can be particularly hurtful and damaging. It’s a way of asserting power and control, by publicly diminishing your status or worth and enhancing their own. This can lead to feelings of humiliation, powerlessness, and shame.

Do they often belittle or undermine you, especially in front of others?

5. Blame-Shifting

Does the person in question avoid taking responsibility for their actions or behaviors, often by denying their actions or blaming others?

Denying behavior is when a person refuses to acknowledge their actions, even when confronted with evidence. They might insist that they didn’t do what you’re accusing them of, or that you’re misinterpreting or exaggerating the situation.

Blaming others is another tactic used to evade responsibility. This involves shifting the blame for their actions onto someone else. For example, they might say that you provoked them, that they were just responding to your behavior, or that someone else made them do it.

Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s important to take responsibility for our actions and learn from them. If someone consistently denies their behavior or blames others, it can be a sign of deeper issues.

Do they deny their behavior or blame others for their actions?

6. Coercive Control

Feeling controlled means that you feel your actions, decisions, or even thoughts are not really your own, but are heavily influenced by this person. They might dictate what you should do, how you should behave, or even what you should think or feel.

Coercion, on the other hand, involves pressure, intimidation, or threats to make you do something you don’t want to do. This could take many forms, from subtle manipulations to explicit threats of harm.

It’s important to remember that everyone has the right to make their own choices and decisions, free from manipulation or coercion. If you’re feeling controlled or coerced, seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or professional counselor.

Have you felt controlled or coerced by them?

7. Narcissistic Rage

Angry reactions can be explosive and intimidating, often designed to shut down the conversation and discourage you from expressing your needs in the future.

Dismissive reactions, on the other hand, involves ignoring your needs, belittling them, or changing the subject.

If someone consistently reacts angrily or dismissively when you express your needs or boundaries, it can be a sign of a lack of respect or understanding, or even a form of emotional abuse.

Do they react angrily or dismissively when you express your needs or boundaries?

8. Gaslighting

If you are constantly criticized or if your experiences and feelings are consistently denied or invalidated, you may start to question your own perceptions and judgments. This is a form of psychological manipulation known as gaslighting.

Gaslighting  is a tactic in which a person, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works much better than you may think and it’s incredibly harmful because it promotes anxiety, depression, and can trigger mental breakdowns.

Victims of gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust their own memory, perception, or judgment. They end up constantly second-guessing themselves and feel unsure of what really happened or who is at fault.

If you find yourself doubting your own perceptions due to someone else’s constant criticism or denial of their behavior, it’s important to reach out for help. This could be a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or a counselor who can provide support and help you regain trust in your own perceptions

Have you started doubting your own perceptions due to their constant criticism or denial of their behavior?

9. Guilt-Tripping

If someone makes you feel guilty for spending time with others or for having separate hobbies and interests, it can be a sign of jealousy, possessiveness, or controlling behavior. They may want to monopolize your time, attention, or affection and see other people or activities as threats.

Guilt-tripping is a common form of emotional manipulation. It is used to control or influence another person’s behavior by making them feel guilty about something.

Everyone has the right to have their own friends, interests, and activities outside of their relationship with another person. Healthy relationships involve mutual respect for each other’s individuality and autonomy.

Do they make you feel guilty for spending time with others or having interests outside of them?

10. Threats

Threatening to leave or abandon someone is a form of emotional manipulation. It’s a strategy used to instill fear, guilt, or anxiety in the other person, forcing them to comply with the manipulator’s demands just to avoid the threatened abandonment.

The abuser uses threats of abandonment to control their victim and maintain power in the relationship.

In a healthy relationship, disagreements and conflicts should be resolved through open communication, understanding, and compromise, not through threats or manipulation. If someone frequently threatens to leave or abandon you to get their way, it could be a sign of an unhealthy or abusive relationship.

Do they frequently threaten to leave or abandon you in order to get their way?